


A Thousand Tiny Battles

by Yolashillinia



Series: Ceniro, Tactician of Elibe [6]
Category: Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken | Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26305495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yolashillinia/pseuds/Yolashillinia
Summary: Why would Lyn love Ceniro? How difficult is it actually to have a relationship with a introverted, intellectual boy who can't fight and has a penchant for running off to the ends of Elibe? Have I written these two to death yet? :P Lyn/Tactician again. Written 2016. Complete for the time being.
Relationships: Lyndis/Tactician (Fire Emblem)
Series: Ceniro, Tactician of Elibe [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864174
Kudos: 6





	1. Talk to Me

**Author's Note:**

> My friend commented on the fact that in [The Tactician and the Heiress](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25502161/chapters/61867831), it’s quite plain to see why Ceniro loves Lyn… but not so clear to see why Lyn would love Ceniro. So I decided to write some short bits from her point of view, each dealing with a different aspect or challenge of their growing, changing relationship.
> 
> It’s quite understandable why it might be difficult to see why Lyn would love Ceniro. At the time that I wrote it, I wasn’t sure why Lyn would love Ceniro either. And I was holding out for Lyn/Hector to be endgame. But… then it didn’t end up that way, because Lyn is stubborn.
> 
> There will not be 1000 chapters in this story. : P
> 
> Ceniro is pronounced 'keh- _neer_ -oh' because it's originally from Quenya. The farseer is a magical GBA-like device crafted for him by Pent.

### Talk to Me

For six months, I’d been alone. For six months, it had just been me, my horse, and my little ger, until I began to run out of food and sold my horse, meaning I could no longer wander aimlessly as I used to.

Soon, the food would run out again, and then I would have to find some way to stay alive, to hunt or starve. Or perhaps I could sell the services of my sword, but I had little experience actually fighting and none at all as a mercenary.

Staying alive meant finding some way to deal with the crippling loneliness. With Florina so far away…

And then there were the bandits. I hadn’t seen many yet, and those only lone cowards easy to drive away, once they realized I was not just a woman but a woman who could _fight_ , but I had only been lucky. Sooner or later, they’d descend upon me in numbers too great to fight off. But until then, I’d oppose them with every drop of blood in my body.

I looked up from my meagre stores sharply as I heard distant shouting. I snatched up my sword and tore out of my ger, running towards the distant knot of three figures.

I didn’t even have to yell anything. There were only two bandits, and when they saw me, they panicked and fled, shouting. My reputation must have reached them. But their victim had already been struck down.

They were already too far away for me to quickly catch up to them. Was their victim dead? I knelt beside him. “Oh dear.” He was alive, but completely unconscious, his face pale. They’d struck him on the back of the head. Despite that, he would recover. I sheathed my sword and carefully, labouriously, pulled him onto my shoulders to bring him back to the ger, not forgetting the sturdy staff that fell from his limp hand.

He weighed far less than he should have. This man was half-starved. And Lycian, in appearance and clothing. What brought him to the wilds of Sacae? Was he a criminal himself? But he didn’t exactly look like it… He was very young, probably about the same age as me.

His stomach rumbled as I was carrying him and I couldn’t hold back a giggle. Well, that I could help out with, at least briefly.

I laid him down on my bed, leaned the staff against the wall of the ger, and began cooking.

I heard him shift a short while later, and turned away from the fire to lean over him. “Hello? Can you hear me?”

He groaned and made a valiant effort to sit up, making it to his elbows before opening his eyes. I was a little startled to see they were large grey eyes, almost hidden under the mop of light brown hair on top of his head. Even though he was so underfed, his face was rather round in shape, very different from the men I’d known growing up. In fact, he looked like a boy, when his eyes were open. He definitely wasn’t much older than me. Maybe even younger than me.

His gaze fell on me, and his mouth fell open. He blushed profusely and looked at the floor instead of me.

Well, wasn’t that flattering. I had to giggle again. “Well, it’s good you’re awake, traveler. I’m glad I showed up in time to chase away those ruffians. Are you hungry?” I began to dish out the stew, already certain of his answer.

His stomach rumbled again and he blushed for answer.

Would he ever say anything? “My name’s Lyn. What’s your name?”

“C-ceniro,” he stammered, in a voice rather on the high end of the male vocal spectrum. It went with the boyish face. And so soft-spoken, but he didn’t mumble. “I-I’m from Lycia…”

Ceniro. What an odd name. But I’d heard odder. I nodded, my guess confirmed. “Lycia, hmm? What brings you to Sacae?”

He paused to swallow his food, trying not to wolf it down in too unseemly a fashion. “I was… I’m a wanderer, I want to see the world. I-I’m also a tactician by trade…”

No wonder he was starved. And probably not a criminal. “Can’t be much call for that in Sacae, unfortunately… My mother was from Lycia,” I said, and faltered. Mother…

Distant shouting again. “Wait. I think I hear bandits. It must be those two again. Stay here while I check it out.” I put my gloves on again and grabbed my katana.

“W-wait,” he said a little more strongly, putting the empty bowl aside, struggling out of bed and making it to his own two feet. “I’ll… I’ll help.” But then he hesitated, his eyes tightening as if he was afraid I would yell at him. Why was he so afraid of me?

“Are you sure?” I asked, remembering something more important. “You had a nasty knock on the head.”

He nodded, meeting my eyes for a brief moment and then dropping his gaze back to the floor again. “Even if you don’t need tactical advice, I can at least distract one of them and make it a fair fight.”

Wow, a complete sentence! “Only if you’re sure,” I told him. “I wouldn’t want you to get killed after you escaped them once already!”

“I’ll be all right,” he said, ducking his head, and reached for his staff… and almost stumbled into the felt wall of the ger.

This boy shouldn’t even be up yet, let alone trying to fight. A sick colt, was what he reminded me of, and his movements were not those of a fighter. But he wanted to help, so I would let him. If our positions were reversed, that would be what I wanted too.

Outside, he brightened up a little. He still looked worried and scared, but he didn’t look quite so much like he would fall over. The bandits were getting pretty close, talking loudly – I tried to tune out what they said. The things these kinds of men said… it would only break my concentration, even if it hardened my resolve.

“Any advice, my tactician friend?” I asked breezily, hoping to boost his confidence. “They ran when they saw me coming last time, but I don’t expect that to work twice.”

Those grey eyes narrowed slightly, and suddenly that round, worried, innocent face was intent and calculating. I almost took a step back. He had no idea how to wield a weapon… but he knew what he was doing here. “I’ll distract the one on the left; you take the one on the right. There’s not much terrain to work with here, so it’s pretty straightforward.” His voice was stronger, too; he didn’t speak loudly, but suddenly he sounded sure of himself.

All right. So he was definitely not lying about being a tactician. I could probably trust his commands, then. “Got it,” I said, smiling at him, and ran forward to do as he suggested.

When both bandits were dead by my sword, we regrouped. Ceniro was pale and shaking a little, and was sick on the ground.

I wasn’t completely stable myself. Although I had sworn to kill every bandit, brigand, and raider who crossed my path, I had never actually taken a human life before. But I had known for a long time that sometimes staying alive meant to kill or be killed, and I had seen my father fight off bandits before. I had been mentally prepared to kill for a long time, clearly unlike him.

Even if he didn’t use a weapon, wouldn’t he have seen battle? His coolness at the beginning of the fight suggested he had more experience than he looked… Was he so sheltered in Lycia that he had never seen a dead body before?

Ceniro didn’t seem to notice my internal struggles with having killed, but he shut up almost completely even though he accepted my invitation to stay for dinner and to sleep in the ger for the night. His reticence was too bad, on the one hand. I had seen a flash of someone else back there, someone who wasn’t just a ball of blushing stammers, and I wasn’t willing to write him off as a silly Lycian boy yet.

But on the other hand, I had some serious thinking of my own to do. Those two bandits were the first ones I’d had proper combat with in six months. For six months I had been grieving, surviving, wandering. Nothing else had actually happened. My revenge would never come if I remained as I was now, a fragile little girl whose only real asset was an unhoned swordfighting skill. My father had trained me well, against my mother’s wishes, and I had enjoyed it with a passion, but that wouldn’t be enough to destroy the Taliver.

Did I really need to do it wandering around with a stranger? A Lycian male stranger, no less. What if he was a completely different person behind that shy face? What if, when he knew me better, he tried to assault me? If I grew to trust him, I might not be able to defend myself in time, even if he didn’t know how to fight.

Thoughts of Florina came into my head. Florina was terrified of men no matter their nationality, frightened almost to an irrational degree by her own timid nature and the things her older sisters had told her about them.

I could hardly sleep, the mental struggle engrossed me so. It was ridiculous. Go with a stranger, or stagnate, those were my options – or to look at it more positively, to take a chance on fulfilling my goals, or to stay relatively safe. The negative look was more realistic and easier to consider.

By the morning, I had decided. Ceniro was the best chance I had of getting stronger. He wandered, all over the world, I managed to get out of him. He would run into trouble eventually. I could protect him from that trouble, and he would help me train myself on it. And if he turned out to be not what he seemed… I would leave him and make my own way wherever I ended up.

But if he did turn out to be what he seemed… maybe I’d have a friend.

Now if only he could put two words together without fading off into obscurity… I didn’t even care if he made eye contact like a normal person. I just wanted to have a proper conversation with someone.

I’d made some progress by the time we reached Bulgar, and the stammering had disappeared, although everything he said was still very quiet and shy, words spoken slowly as if each one had to be picked like blackberries out of a bramble. In contrast, I must have seemed a chatterbox. I was far too excited about having conversations with someone, filling up space between us with comments on the plains, asking where else he had been in Sacae, telling him some of the stories told to me over summer campfires when I was young… He listened politely to everything, and to my relief, never made the slightest hint of a racist comment.

By the time we reached Bulgar, I felt quite friendly towards him.

And then we met Kent and Sain and they turned my life upside down, gave me a new direction to journey in. Ceniro agreed to come along. I was glad; I would have been a little disappointed if he left so soon. I did worry that with Sain around, Ceniro would stop talking altogether – Sain was nothing if not the centre of as much attention as possible, and Ceniro was the opposite.

I needn’t have worried as much as I did. He was quieter than before, still shy, yes, but by the time we made it into North Bern he had recovered enough that if he had something to say, he said it, even joining in the banter with a little smile. He was getting used to being around people, I thought, and too many people at once made him feel insecure.

And if we had to fight for our lives, there was that focused gaze again, those quick, clear commands. He definitely wasn’t quiet because he was stupid. And he wasn’t sick afterwards anymore. And my hand didn’t shake anymore. We were both getting stronger already.

We found Florina in the middle of nowhere and she joined us, to my surprise and delight, and a young man named Wil. After we’d fought off the bandits trying to kidnap her, I had so much to talk about with her. “Florina, I can’t tell you how glad I am to see you! I’ve missed you so much, you know.”

“I missed you, too, Lyn! And when I heard about your family, I…” Florina sniffed, reaching up to wipe her eyes.

I patted her knee; she was riding her pegasus alongside me. “You must have been so worried. I’m sorry for not contacting you directly, but to be honest, I didn’t think of it for at least a month afterwards. I was just wandering aimlessly, trying to recover. After that, well, I wasn’t sure how to get in touch with you. I wanted to talk with you so much.”

Florina sniffled some more. “I’m so glad you survived. And now you’re going to see your grandfather! So you won’t be alone anymore.”

“And you’re coming with me, so I’m definitely not going to be alone,” I said, smiling. “So tell me about your knighting!”

“There’s not much to tell,” Florina said, blushing. “Mom and Dad were there… My captain gave me my spear, and all the other girls in my training unit got theirs… And then we went home and ate Mom’s cake.”

I giggled. “Sounds good. Were your sisters there, or were they off on missions?”

“They were… Farina sent me some money, and told me to buy some good gear with it, so I got a new saddle for Huey. Fiora sent me a really long letter full of congratulations and advice, and also this circlet.” She touched the beaded silver chain pinned into her hair.

“That’s really nice, Florina! And now you’ll train with us and get stronger, and be just as strong as both your sisters. You know, that’s why I started on this journey when I met Ceniro, because I wanted to get stronger and I thought he might help me. It’s been working out so far.”

“Mm.” Florina nodded. “I know you explained how you were journeying with them, but I still don’t really understand… Are you sure you can trust them?”

“I think so,” I said. “Of the three of them… Kent is absolutely trustworthy. I can’t imagine him putting on an act at all. He takes being a knight very seriously, and he’s always very proper.”

“He does seem trustworthy. But Sain is so different!”

“Not too different except in volume, I think,” I said, smiling. “He’s loud and goofy and extravagant, but when he’s serious he’s every bit as knightly as Kent. But it takes a lot to get him to be serious.”

“He’s so weird…” Florina mumbled, and I laughed.

“Then, Ceniro I met first, and he seems like a good person. Kind of like you, in fact.”

“Ehh!? No, that can’t be.”

“He’s really quiet, and he seems shy of me. Just like you’re quiet, and you’re shy of him! The only time he talks normally is when he’s giving us orders in battle, did you notice that?”

“Um… not really. But I’ll watch for it now.”

“He’s been getting better over the last week or so. But still… I think he could be really interesting if he was only more confident.”

“Do you think people think that of me?” Florina said anxiously. “I know I lack confidence…”

“I know you’re interesting,” I said, smiling at her. “Confidence will come. And these people are all so friendly, you’ll start being more friendly with them, even though they’re men, and it will give you practice so you can be more confident around even people you don’t know! And don’t forget, you don’t have to talk a lot like I do. I know you only like talking to one person at a time and not in a big group.”

“Y-yes, that’s true. S-so if Wil tries to talk to me again…”

“You know I’m always nearby. And it’s true I don’t know anything about Wil, but he agreed to come along with us, so he trusts _us_. So don’t force yourself to talk to him, but sure, maybe give him a chance too?”

Florina nodded hesitantly. “I will try. Like you say, it’s good practice, especially since he’s an archer. He said I shouldn’t be afraid of our own archers. …But sometimes when I’m high up, it’s hard to tell them apart…”

“I know. But Ceniro will help with that.”

Florina nodded again. “Oh, I’m just so happy to be traveling with you, Lyn! This is really exciting!”

“It’s very exciting! Ah, Sain and Wil are coming back. Let’s see what they found.”

It was another day before I got the chance to speak with Ceniro again – it was one thing after another before that: bandits, Natalie and Dorcas, more bandits, Erk and Serra…

But it was dinnertime, and we’d made it to an actual inn to spend the night, having finally made it into Lycia, even if we hadn’t yet reached Araphen, where Kent hoped to get an escort the rest of the way to Caelin. Ceniro ate quickly and stayed in the corner of the room, looking small but not uncomfortable, just content to watch the others. Sain and Serra were making loud conversation, Kent was speaking quietly to Erk, and Wil and Florina and Dorcas were watching Sain and Serra with awe and amusement.

I moved over to sit by the tactician. “Tired?”

He jumped. “A little, I guess. You?”

“Well, I’m happy we don’t have to set a watch tonight. I feel like I’ve been worrying in my sleep since – for months. So this is Lycia?”

“Mmhmm.”

“The food is pretty good. Different from home.”

“Yeah.”

 _Say something_ , I thought at him. _I don’t want you to feel left out. I know you can make conversation_. “Is it nice to be back in Lycia?”

“Mm. Yes, I suppose it is. I haven’t been back in a while.” He paused, but it sounded like he was going to say something else, so I waited. “I was born in Araphen, actually. But I don’t remember any of it.”

“Moved away young?”

“Yes. My family lives in Santaruz now.”

“Where’s that?”

His gaze was wandering across the inside of the inn, flicking back to Sain and Serra every once in a while, but I could tell he wasn’t ignoring me. “It’s just north-west of Pherae and south of Caelin.”

“So I could visit you while I’m living with my grandfather?” I teased.

He blushed. “I-I guess. Except I probably won’t be there. I can’t sit still at home when there’s so much of the world to see.”

“It’s not a bother that we’re going back to places you’ve already seen, I hope?”

“No, not a bother. Lycia is very beautiful as well. And I, um, I don’t mind showing it to you. I know you love Sacae very much, but Lycia isn’t bad so far, too, right?” He was looking at his hands clasped in front of him now, the blush still on his cheeks. “I mean, I know we’ve only been in the border for a few hours…”

“No, it’s nice so far,” I said. “My mother spoke of it sometimes, and I will admit I was always a little curious. You know, I haven’t seen a _proper_ castle yet.”

“Castle Caelin is a _proper_ castle,” he said, with that little smile. “I hope you like it when we get there.”

“Me too.” I smiled at him, and got up and went over to help Kent negotiate with the innkeeper for beds.


	2. Look at Me

### Look at Me

Kent and Ceniro had gone ahead to Castle Araphen – which was also a _proper_ castle, by the looks of it – and the rest of us were wandering the city streets, guided by Sain. Almost none of us had been here before, and it was quite different from Bulgar, certainly. Bigger, firstly – the city was bigger, the houses were at least twice as tall, set closer together, and many of them were made of stone. The style was different, too, without any trace of familiar Sacaean elements anywhere. And it, unfortunately, smelled a lot worse than I’d been expecting. The streets might have been paved with stones, unlike Bulgar, but I just had to watch my step even more.

But the people were colourful, many of them dressed in brighter colours than most Sacaeans would wear… my own bright teal deel was not really common among my people. Most of them wore reddish-brown colours, or sometimes earthy green. My father had given my deel to me a couple years ago, saying I was the gift of Mother Earth and Father Sky to Mother and him, and the blue and green blended in the colour of my clothing was symbolic of that. After that, I never wore anything else. Here, though, people wore whatever colours they liked, it looked like. Reds and blues and greens and black and white, everywhere I looked.

And there was so much to look at, that I almost missed the man coming at me with a knife until the crowds around us screamed and ran for cover, leaving me completely exposed – everyone else was behind me.

“You! Lyndis! Prepare yourself!” shouted the assassin, lunging towards me.

“Hey!” I panicked as I reached for my sword. He was too close, I wouldn’t be able to draw my sword in time, Sain and his horse were too close behind me for me to easily avoid…

 _Thunk!_ An arrow struck the assassin in the back and he pitched forward at my feet.

I saw the man who had shot the arrow and my eyes widened: he was a Sacaean. The fact that he was wearing the livery of Araphen did nothing to change the joy I felt at seeing one of my countrymen in this strange place. And he had saved my life, too!

Kent and Ceniro came riding hastily back to my side at that moment. “Lady Lyndis!” Kent cried. They must have seen what had happened. Ceniro slid clumsily off the horse and hurried to my side, and everyone was looking at me, checking to see if I’d been injured.

I was fine, surely it was easy to see. The Sacaean rider had seen to that so quickly. “I’m all right.” The rider was turning to leave – “Ah! Wait!” I hadn’t thanked him! And just to say hello to one of my people made me oddly happy. He stopped his horse and turned back. “Thank you for saving my life!”

He glanced at all the Lycians around me. “I thought a woman of Sacae was in need. Was I mistaken?”

Right. And with my mother’s blood in my veins, I had a trace of Lycian-ness about my face as well. “No, I’m from Sacae,” I assured him. “I’m the daughter of Hassar of the Lorca.”

He made little sign, but I could tell he was surprised. “There were survivors?”

“A few. Now I’m going to Lycia to meet my mother’s father.”

“Oh no!” Florina cried, pointing. “The castle… it’s on fire!” Indeed, black smoke was rising into the sky from inside the castle, and I could hear distant sounds that did not sound like city sounds – screaming and crashing.

“So it is,” Wil said wryly. “That’s probably an issue.”

“Listen, that man who attacked me, I think he was an assassin of Lord Lundgren,” I said quickly to the rider. “I bet the castle is on fire because Lundgren doesn’t want me to reach Caelin!”

“A good an explanation as any,” he said, still watching me cautiously. How could I convince him that we wanted to help, even if – especially if it was partly our fault?

“And if it’s not the case, helping out can’t hurt our standing with the marquess,” Kent said. “Are there any more enemies about in the city?”

“I’ll rally the guard,” said the rider. “They will help track down any hostiles. I am the captain of the marquess’s guard, but you may call me by my right name: Rath of the Kutolah.”

The Kutolah! I had met Silver Wolf Dayan with my father once or twice, but I didn’t remember anyone named Rath. Still, the Kutolah were friendly. “Well met, Rath of the Kutolah,” I said eagerly. “This is our tactician, Ceniro. You should probably coordinate with him.”

Of course, Ceniro froze up under scrutiny. “Um. Hello.”

Rath turned to head back up the hill towards the castle. “I’ll be back shortly. Make your way towards the castle, but head for the militia barracks. If enemies have attacked the castle, the front gate will be too dangerous for a group the size of yours to attack.”

“Thanks,” Ceniro said, and took over, issuing orders to everyone in our group.

He stayed close to me as we made our way forward, and I was rather glad of it. He needed protecting, being so weak but so vital, and I could provide it. I even almost protected him against Matthew, who joined us instead a few minutes later. The tactician was never so close that I couldn’t fight, but I could feel he was always behind me, could track the sound of his voice and know he had everything under control. I wouldn’t let anyone past to attack him.

We’d always been a pretty good team since we’d met, and we were getting better all the time. I couldn’t yet read his mind, but it felt sometimes like he could read mine, sending me against the enemies I knew I could fight, encouraging me, positioning me, or repositioning me when he felt I was vulnerable. And everything he said, to everyone, not just me, made it clear that he valued all our contributions, respected our abilities, and I at least appreciated how he often explained his orders so that I knew exactly what I was fighting for. And although he often had to shout to be heard, especially at a distance, he was never yelling at us. Sometimes his voice got a little anxious, and his orders came faster, but he was never impatient with us, just like my father with his warriors when he was in a difficult situation.

Ceniro didn’t leave his safe spot by my side until we had gotten into the castle and cleared the attackers. Only then, did he stay in the courtyard with the others while I went further in with Kent and Sain for the most unfortunate interview of my life.

It wasn’t until a couple days later that I started to suspect Ceniro stayed close to me for other reasons as well, and it was Serra’s fault. “Oh, Lady Lyn, you are a blessed woman indeed.”

“How do you mean?” I asked. I was, I suppose, since I was still alive, but that didn’t sound like what she was going to talk about. “Lord Lundgren is trying to kill me, Marquess Araphen was the worst person I’ve ever spoken to, and I don’t know when I’ll see Sacae again.” I wasn’t complaining! Really! I was interested in exploring Lycia. But already I was starting to feel homesick…

Serra tutted. “Dear Lady Lyn, you have a noble bearing, high-ranking connections, and an entourage of young men adoring your every move! The fact that your grand-uncle is a miserable rotten would-be usurper will pass – once we defeat him – but the rest will remain.”

I laughed. “An entourage of adoring men? I… don’t think…”

“It’s true,” Serra said cheerfully. “The knights-”

“Sain has a fiancée,” I pointed out. “He talks about her constantly, despite all the flirting he does with every female he meets.”

“Well, Sir Kent, then, he watches over you like a hen. Or perhaps a hound. A hound is more dashing. Where was I? Wil, Dorcas, Rath-”

“Dorcas is married, Rath just joined us, and Wil spends half his time trying to talk to Florina-”

“Rath stares with that deadly gaze of his! How do you not feel it?” Serra shivered, then perked up. “And we can’t forget Ceniro! Have you seen how he blushes at you? In fact, I think Erk is the only one too uncouth to adore you. He doesn’t even seem to adore me! He just spends all his time in his books, even while we walk!”

Well, yes, I had seen how Ceniro blushed a lot, but he was easily embarrassed, that was all. He blushed when talking to people other than me. “Still, Serra, that’s only three people out of all the men in camp. Is that really enough for an ‘adoring entourage’?”

“It has to be,” Serra said firmly. “You must have an adoring entourage, Lady Lyn.”

“Um, why?”

Serra stared in surprise and slight offense. “Lady Lyndis! You are the princess of Caelin in all but name! It’s only proper that men fall at your feet and beg to serve you! Why, I myself can hardly do my own work sometimes with all the admirers I have, and I’m only a sweet cleric of Saint Elimine!”

“That wouldn’t be practical in Sacae,” I said. In Sacae, men did their jobs, not go around romantically falling over women like in the fairy-tales my mother used to tell me. Yes, it would be nice, maybe a little bit, but that just wouldn’t work. How would the tribe stay safe and fed if everyone was so silly? And the women of Sacae wouldn’t stand for it either.

“Ah yes, I almost forgot, you were raised in Sacae.” Serra gasped suddenly, pink pigtails bouncing. “You have so much to learn! I must teach you! Yes, yes, let us start at once. You’ll need to know court manners once you meet your grandfather!”

I started edging away a little. “But he’s my grandfather. I’m told he’s not racist. Surely he would accept me even if I didn’t know court manners.”

“That may be true,” Serra said briskly, unconsciously following me, “but you should know them anyway. It will impress everyone else.”

“I’d – I think I’d like Florina to be here with me,” I said, fighting back nervous giggles. She was really serious about this, wasn’t she?

“Yes, that is a good idea, she will benefit from knowing this too,” Serra said. “But this is only a temporary thing, you understand. I can’t be seen with too many other pretty girls at the same time! Florina!! Come here, we have much to learn!”

Florina came over obediently, and we were both blown away by Serra’s barrage of information. Later in the tent we shared, we talked it over and tried to sort the useful information from the not-so-useful. “And all this stuff about who gets served first at dinner… knowing which spoons do what is helpful, I _guess_ , but why am I supposed to know that?”

“I don’t know,” Florina said. “I’m more worried about all the things she told us about noble courting conventions. Surely none of the nobles there is going to be courting _me_.” She cast an awkward glance at me. “Maybe you, but I can’t imagine you’d bother with them.”

“You’re probably right about that,” I said. “And so I don’t see why I need to know that either. If there’s a nobleman who likes me but can’t accept that I don’t know the rituals, then he’s not worth my time.”

“And then there’s… all this…” Florina gestured helplessly at the make-up pots Serra had given us from her generous stash.

The cleric’s words were still echoing in my head. “Of course, I can’t use too much, just a little foundation and lip gloss and maybe some blush for colour. I’m too cute as it is! I can’t be leading the weak-minded into temptation, that would be cruel! But you can use as much as you like, to make yourself as beautiful as possible!” Her manic smile had suddenly turned ferocious. “But mind you don’t use too much! You must stay within the bounds of good taste! When we get to civilization, I will show you portraits that will explain in a glance how _not_ to do it!”

Why do it at all? I wasn’t exactly looking for a man right now, and if he needed facepaint to think I was pretty, he wasn’t worth my time either. Mother hadn’t worn any make-up since she came to Sacae, and she was- had been just beautiful on her own.

Well, we’d learned a few useful things – how to address people of different ranks, how to curtsey to people of different ranks, how to get out of awkward conversations with people… Unfortunately, Serra was immune to the last one.

What interested me more, after Florina had fallen asleep, was considering what Serra had said about people in our group. Kent was only doing his job, I was sure. Rath was just watching out for a fellow Sacaean. But… could she be right about Ceniro?

I had my answer a couple days later, while we were helping Nils search for Ninian, and breaking down a castle gate in the process. Florina had lifted me up to the walls on Ceniro’s orders, along with Dorcas and Wil. There weren’t too many enemies up here, but those who were here were deadly – swordsmen and lancemen on one side, a half dozen of them, and the enemy leader, a shaman, on the other. I should have been afraid, but my will was like steel – I had to kill them.

Ceniro had said to take out the leader as soon as possible so I charged at him, trusting the others to watch my back. I ducked a blast of dark magic and it hit the wall to my right, exploding and shaking the entire wall. Stones were shaken loose, falling down into the courtyard and I was sprayed with stone chips, many of them cutting right through my clothes and into my skin.

I’d live against that, but I’d had to cover my face against the debris and that had given the shaman time to cast another spell, enveloping me in a dark mist, slowing my movements to sluggish, weak steps and seeping cold into my skin. The cold left intense pain in its wake, as if my flesh were freezing and cracking open. The Mani Katti burned bright in my hand against the dark and I swung it, desperately trying to clear it away from me so I could get close to him and kill him. But I wouldn’t make it, not against the pain and the slowing.

“You thought you would rescue the boy’s sister, did you?” taunted my opponent; I could barely hear him through ringing in my ears. “Were you not warned that anyone who gets close to the siblings is rewarded with death? Learn this lesson now and die in despair!”

I heard someone scream my name, and then light magic blasted the shaman, breaking his spell, and a screaming white feathery missile shot down from the sky, and Florina’s lance impaled him through the chest, knocking him from the wall.

My legs wouldn’t hold and I fell to my knees, clutching the Mani Katti like it was a lifeline, gasping in sweet, pain-free air. I was so weak, and my body was wracked with spasms, aftershocks of the debilitating spell.

Ceniro was beside me, one arm around my shoulders, the other in front of me so I could pull myself up. “Lyn! Lyn! Are you- Are you all right?” His voice was frantic, his hands shaking. Was he so afraid for me? The pain was upsetting and frightening, yes, and I’d treat shaman more cautiously from now on, but I knew things would work out, he was in command. I was just annoyed I couldn’t take out the shaman on my own. But I was still alive, wasn’t I? “Serra! Quick!”

“I-I’m all right,” I assured him, accepting his help to stand, and my heart went _thump_. His arm was still around my shoulders, and it turned out I was perfectly fine with it staying there for a bit… as long as I didn’t have to fight before Serra got to us.

Ceniro was looking down into the courtyard at the destruction wrought by the knights, Erk, Rath, and Lucius. He couldn’t see I was looking at him curiously. “Looks like the others have it under control. Everyone! Break into pairs and search the castle!”

He must have risked his life multiple times getting to me. His staff had been broken before, so he was truly defenseless against all these lancemen, swordsmen, axemen – and if he’d been any sooner, what could he have done? Gotten hit by the dark magic spell too? But he’d still come for me with all his speed, without even thinking about it, it seemed, and he’d been worried about me. Really worried. Maybe he was afraid of dark magic?

Serra healed me, and Ceniro came with Nils and me to look for his sister.

It wasn’t until later in the evening that I got time to go over what had happened earlier.

Okay. Serra was right. He liked me.

So why did _my_ heart go thump? It wasn’t like it was the first time my life had been saved. But even when Rath had saved me and I first made eye contact with him, my heart hadn’t gone thump. It had been happy, excited to see a Sacaean, but not in a giddy way like now.

I had always thought I’d only be attracted to Sacaean men. I’d grown up surrounded by hunters, warriors, herders, with straight black or green hair, and lean, serious faces that sometimes hid spirits as playful as any kitsune – and that was what I thought attractive. I had thought my heart would be won by a man who was my equal with the sword, or who could ride like the wind and nail a swallow in mid-flight. A confident man, practical and strong and not lacking in humour like some of the warriors in the Lorca.

Not a shy Lycian boy with brown hair who couldn’t even hold a sword.

When I thought about it some more, it started to make some sense. He and Rath – the closest example I had to hand – were both quiet people who thought more than they spoke, both intense under the right circumstances, and they both treated me with the respect of an equal. And Ceniro was practical, most of the time, and he did have a dry sense of humour.

And he was brilliant, even I could tell that. I knew nothing about strategy, but the way we defeated not only bandits but assassins, mercenaries, even organized bands like the one we had fought today… only someone very skilled could have done that, and only the very best could do that without losing a single ally.

Still. I was being silly. It was just the moment. The fact that I knew he liked me didn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change anything until he said something about it.

And there was one advantage that Rath had over him – Rath wasn’t afraid to make eye contact. I mean, really! I’d been with Ceniro for weeks now, and half the time even if he was talking to me, he was looking at the ground, or his hands, or off into the distance. If he looked at me, it was when I wasn’t looking. Which wasn’t fair.

I tried not to show that I was annoyed with him the next day or two, although it was difficult – I found it hard to hide emotions. But it helped that he was as withdrawn as ever, and we were both focusing on the much more important task of recovering Ninian’s ring from the villains who had kidnapped her. I wondered if he did notice my slight change in demeanour at all. I hoped not.

But what didn’t really help me was an irritated, contrary desire to talk to him more, to force him to make eye contact more. It was rather mean of me, I knew, but I couldn’t quite help it.

The first time I tried was when I was standing on the edge of camp, almost on the edge of Caelin, overlooking a wooded valley with a river flowing through it.

He came up behind me. I could recognize his steps by now, and he was not well-versed in moving quietly. “Nice view, isn’t it?”

“It’s quite lovely,” I said. “I’m enjoying seeing so many forests. Sacae doesn’t have any, except maybe a few trees along the rivers and streams.”

“I want to see them too anyway,” he said, standing beside me and looking out as well. “Sacae doesn’t need trees to be beautiful. But this is one reason why I love Lycia.”

“I imagine they’re great for hunting,” I said. “Although also great for getting ambushed in.”

He winced. “Yes, it’s been known to happen. Although if you’ve ever heard of the folk hero Merry Ryan, he was said to have been the sort to rob from the rich to give to the poor, and he lived in the forests of Tania.”

I peered around at him. He wasn’t looking at me, just staring at the distant river. “So a good bandit? That sounds like an oxymoron.”

Finally he glanced at me, a faintly amused look hovering in the corner of his mouth. “Perhaps, but it’s a good story. Anyway, Tania’s even prettier than this.”

“Oh? How so?” _No, don’t look back at the view, keep eye contact. You can do it._ I moved to stand more in front of him – not too obviously, I hoped.

“Mountains.” His whole face lit up with a huge, involuntary smile, and suddenly those big grey eyes were fixed on mine, and not letting go. “You should see it – it’s right against the mountains that border Bern, and those dark green forests run right up the sides of the mountains until they fade away into grey stone and snow. There are lakes there the colour of your dress, and meadows of flowers scarlet as dawn. It all makes you feel so small, but the air is so crisp it makes you feel more alive than ever.” He looked a little sheepish. “Even if you’re starving and crisp air just makes you hungrier, too.”

…Those eyes were mesmerizing. I stared until I realized what I was doing and shook myself a little. “Water the colour of my deel? Surely that’s not possible, unless something horrible happened to it.”

“No, it’s perfectly natural. It tastes a little funny, yes. But…” He glanced back at the view, and then back to me. “I was only there once, passing through, for a week. I’d love to go back. But you should see Caelin first. It might not have Tania’s wild rawness, but Caelin is a wonderful place. And Tania doesn’t have a lot of people. Caelin has lots of people, good people. Even a mouse like me can tell that.”

Now I was the one wanting to break eye contact. “You really love traveling.”

Another wide smile. “I hope I’m not boring you.”

“Not when you obviously love it so much.” My heart was beating too hard. I had to escape. Did I want to escape? He was so interesting when talking about things that he found exciting. And his eyes were so beautiful…

Oh no.


	3. Kiss Me

### Kiss Me

Blood was pouring down my left arm from a deep spear-wound, mingling with cold rainwater. I couldn’t move it anymore or it would send bolts of agony lancing through me. But I hadn’t been hit anywhere else. I could keep moving, relying on the speed of my footwork, which was my greatest asset in this fight.

Lundgren towered over me, a tall, strong, middle-aged man. His spear was long and, as I had found, sharp, and his armour was thick. But I had the Mani Katti, and he couldn’t keep up with me. I gritted my teeth against the pain of my arm, keeping tears back, and braced my feet to attack again, glaring with fury and hate. This man was the cause of all my problems since I had started on this journey, this man was trying to kill my grandfather and me, and I would kill him here and now.

The others were hanging back, no one interfering on Ceniro’s order, watching in a semi-circle around us; beyond them, soldiers of Caelin watched as well, ready to kill them all if I messed up. If I died.

Ceniro trusted me to win. They all did. I wouldn’t fail them.

“Why won’t you give up?” Lundgren snarled, disheveled from his duel with me, his armour rent from my enchanted sword, his hair slicked to his head by the rain. “This should all have been mine by now! A doddering old man and a savage girl-”

Savage girl, hen’s teeth. I dashed forward, saw the lance aiming at me, shifted my weight to dodge without losing step. I was almost successful; the tip of it grazed my side, slicing easily through my deel and leaving a wound across my side that I hardly felt, I was so focused on getting to him. Was my sword arm strong enough? With the glowing Mani Katti, it had to be.

I drove the sword forwards, and it stabbed into his armour, grinding into it almost effortlessly, piercing steel, cloth, and flesh and bone. He grunted, an explosive sound that had blood in it, and I had to jump back as he collapsed forward, almost crushing me under his massive armour.

He landed with a crash on the cobblestones in the gate. I had already turned away to look inside the castle. Lundgren no longer mattered. What if my grandfather had died while I was out here fighting? I wiped my sword hastily and sheathed it as I hurried under the gate. None of the soldiers would attack me now, I knew. My arm didn’t matter. My side didn’t matter. I could barely feel them now over the emotions surging within me anyway.

I made it across the courtyard, and up the steps to the double door that probably led to the main hall. A man in fine clothes stood there, and he bowed low to me. “Lady Lyndis?”

“Who are you?” I demanded, hearing the footsteps of the others hurrying after me. “Can I see my grandfather?” Ceniro was first, followed by Serra’s fast light footsteps, and a blue glow lit up around me, slightly blurring my vision of the man before me. But I felt more relaxed afterwards, my arm and side no longer bleeding.

“I am Reissmann, the chancellor to the Caelin family. It gives me great joy to welcome you home.”

“Great,” I said shortly. He seemed sincere, but none of that was important right now. I didn’t care. _Get out of my way._ “Does my grandfather yet live?”

“Yes,” said the chancellor. What was a chancellor again? I’d ask later. “I will take you to him now. I’m afraid your friends cannot come with you; he is very weak, and has asked for no visitors.”

He better not be lying. “Very well. Lead the way.”

I left General Wallace to take care of the rest of my companions and followed the chancellor through the hall and up into the third story of the castle, to a hallway richly carpeted and decorated. Lamps burned dimly along its length.

Reissmann stopped in front of a carven wood door. “Please do not be shocked by what you see, Lady Lyndis. Lord Hausen is not a young man, and he has been poisoned for some time now.”

“I understand,” I said. “I just want to see him.”

Reissmann nodded and pushed open the door gently.

The room was quite dark – there was only a pair of lamps, and the heavy curtains were closed, letting in not a bit of light. There was a hoarse sigh from the bed across the room, from a nest of white silk blankets and pillows. “Who is there?” drifted out a tremulous old voice. “I said I would have no visitors. Leave me.”

I swallowed and took a couple steps closer, my nerve almost failing me now. No! I had fought through so much, too much to be afraid now.

“What are you doing?” the voice asked, querulous and sad. “Leave me… to die…”

I was close enough to see the old man lying in the bed now, and I took a deep breath. “Um… pardon me… My name is… I’m Lyndis.” My voice was not quite steady and I swallowed again.

The old man’s eyes opened, surprisingly bright, for all his face was thin and gaunt and deeply lined with age. “Eh? Did you say Lyndis?”

I took another step closer, my courage returning at the sight of the hope in his eyes. “My father’s name was Hassar, chieftain of the Lorca. My mother was Madelyn. I was raised on the plains of Sacae.”

“Could it be?” My grandfather began struggling to sit up amidst his soft bedding. “Come, come here. Let me see your face.”

I picked up a lamp and moved it to the table by the bedside so he could see better, and reached out to help him to sit up. His eyes searched my face as mine searched his, looking for traces of my mother in him. His hair was white and smooth, and his face had once been proud and handsome; even now it was the face of a dignified man, but with sad eyes under fierce brows. Sickness and poison had taken its toll, though; his eyes were sunken, and his skin was oddly translucent. I prayed to Mother Earth he would get better.

Whatever he was looking for, he must have found it, for he smiled suddenly, transforming his face into that of family, kind and loving. “Oh… yes… there is no doubt. You are Madelyn’s trueborn child…” He broke off to cough, turning away so he wouldn’t cough on me.

I didn’t care. “Grandfather!” I cried, and fell forward, onto my knees beside the bed, throwing my arms around him. I tried not to cry, but a couple of tears might have leaked out anyway. It was all right. He was my grandfather.

He coughed again with my impact, and I felt bad, but then his arms went around me, holding me gently. “Lundgren told me that my daughter had died. My daughter and her whole family. He told me you were dead. Thank you… thank you for living.” He sighed. “I am blessed…”

“Mother and Father were slain last year by brigands,” I confessed. “I… I was one of the only survivors. I…” I wish I’d known to come see you sooner, I wanted to say, but the words stuck against more tears.

“Lyndis… please forgive a prideful old man. If I had but accepted your parents’ love… there would have been no bandits. We would have lived here together in perfect peace.” I felt drops on my head and realized he was crying too.

I held him tighter, then leaned back to look at him. “Grandfather… My parents, my tribe… Our life _was_ one of love and peace. The end was tragic, but… up until the attack, we were truly happy.”

His smile was tremulous but it warmed my heart. “Truly? Madelyn had a life of happiness? Knowing that gives me so much joy. Thank you, Lyndis. I can die in peace now…”

I jumped to my feet, putting my hands on his shoulders. “No, Grandfather! You mustn’t say that!”

He shook his head wearily, looking like he wanted to lie down again. “There’s no avoiding it, Lyndis. I’ve taken too much poison for far too long. It’s too late…”

 _Nonsense!_ He was already sitting up, his voice was stronger! “Be brave, Grandfather! You will recover! Believe me! On the plains, we say that illness fails in the face of a strong heart! I am with you now! You mustn’t give up!”

“You’re… with me…”

“Yes,” I said, my eyes shining. “We have so much to talk about. We can take walks together, you can show me Caelin, I can play music for you – there’s so much I want to do with you, so much lost time we can recover!”

“That does sound… nice…” Already he seemed more hopeful.

“Doesn’t it? And once you’re well, I’ll take you to the plains. I’ll show you the endless sky, the oceans of grass… I want you to know the lands my parents loved so much!” And that I loved too, it went without saying.

“The lands Madelyn loved…” He sat up straighter, his face brightening again. “You’re right. It seems that I still have… quite a bit of living to do.”

“Yes! You can do it, Grandfather! I’ll help you!”

He reached out and hugged me again. “Thank you for coming to me, Lyndis. I’ll need your strength and youthful energy in the days to come.”

For a long moment he held me, and I put my head on his shoulder. I had a family again. And yes, perhaps I could feel my mother in him, and see how my father respected him.

After a moment, he held me at arm’s length again to look at me again. “So you’re eighteen, are you not?”

“I am eighteen, soon nineteen,” I told him.

His gaze fell to my arm, where the angry scar from Lundgren’s lance was still very visible. Serra had been in a hurry. “What’s this?” And the tear in my deel across my side, too.

“I fought Lundgren,” I said, maybe a little defiantly. “He wounded me… but I killed him. He will not tear any families apart again.”

“You are as strong as your parents,” my grandfather said in wonder. “With that Sacaean blade, I take it?”

“Yes. It is called the Mani Katti, and it… chose me.”

“You must tell me everything, soon,” Grandfather said. “Perhaps not this moment. I… I think the doctor should be fetched. And surely you were not alone in coming here; you should see to your friends and companions. Kent and Sain… are they still with you?”

“Yes, they have been the best of guides for this entire journey.”

“That is good. I thought perhaps they were a bit young to have such an important mission, but they are talented, and the old general assured me they were ready…”

“They were brilliant,” I assured him. “Thank you for sending them.”

“And – a very important matter, now – you are a beautiful young woman, is there anyone in your life whom you admire?”

I blinked and felt a blush spreading over my face. “I-I don’t actually know. Not really. Maybe?” But that person hadn’t said anything, so he didn’t count! But- Oh, I was so confused about him. And it was so annoying.

My grandfather actually laughed aloud. “Well, go fetch Reissmann and tell him to get the doctor. I will try, Lyndis. I will recover… for my family.”

I smiled widely at him and went to do as he asked.

Over the next couple weeks, my life got really, really busy. I would have thought I would get to spend lots of time with my grandfather, but that wasn’t quite the case. He was recovering, and I spent several hours each day with him, but Chancellor Reissmann insisted that I be around to help with the management of Caelin. I protested, saying I had exactly zero wish to inherit, and no experience with managing small kingdoms, but he insisted, and I gave in with a grimace rather than upset everyone. Grandfather could sort it out when he got better. Which he was doing with great rapidity, to everyone’s relief and happiness.

Many of my companions left on their separate ways soon after we arrived, but Kent and Sain stayed, of course, and were promoted as befitted them, and Wil and Florina actually signed on as knights of Caelin, to my joy, and Ceniro stayed as well, though not as a knight. The garrison would have been very happy to have him, but he was good at fading into the background and they spent a lot of time overlooking him even as they praised his skills.

And Kent and Sain fulfilled their promises to show me around, and some days we went off on long rides to see new parts of Caelin, with Wil and Florina and Ceniro. It was fun, with the wind in our hair and the sun shining brightly on the green fields and forests; Caelin was as lovely as my mother had said, as Kent and Sain had said, as Ceniro had said. Yes, I could grow to love this land. Even if I would forever be homesick for the wide, sweet-smelling plains.

But Ceniro himself… I still hadn’t really figured out how I felt for him. Now I worried that I wouldn’t be able to, the way he was around but not really, always lurking in the background, too shy to come into the open and talk with large groups of people. I wanted to bring him out to stand with me; no one in Castle Caelin would object, he was the reason we were all alive, after all, but he was too slippery to let me. And even though I had resolved to try to talk to him, I could never seem to find the right time – everyone wanted my time, and I couldn’t turn them all down politely.

So why was he still around, then? Did he actually like me? He’d always been by my side before, and now he wasn’t, and – what did he want? How could I encourage him to _say_ something? To _do_ something? Or to go away and let me be? But I didn’t really want him to go away, although I knew he would eventually. His feet could never stay in one place for long, he told me, and he’d already been here a week. He was driving me crazy without even trying.

Weren’t we good friends? Why couldn’t I just talk to him?

One time when I was out with only Sain for company, we stopped at a little shop in a little village where I bought a strong ash staff. Ceniro was still missing his, after all. Sain smiled knowingly as I did so, and I glared at him, which only made him chuckle. That rascal.

Was this okay? Wait, of course this was okay. We were at least friends. There was nothing wrong with getting a gift for a friend, especially one who’d helped me as much as Ceniro had. In fact, just a staff felt wildly inadequate when compared to all he’d done for me.

“I don’t think you need to worry, Lady Lyn,” Sain said suddenly on the ride home, smiling as if he knew a secret. When I glanced at him with a frown, he gestured to the staff. “You keep fidgeting with it. It’s all right. He’ll like it, especially if it’s you who gives it to him.”

I blushed and looked away again, which made him laugh again. It was so frustrating, I didn’t blush nearly this much when talking to Ceniro directly, or when he was present in the conversation, hovering on the fringes near me like he normally did. Only when he wasn’t around. Ugh!

I didn’t give it to him that day, or the day after. And I didn’t talk to Florina about him. I had to make up my own mind. I was acting like a little girl, and it was irritating me.

What was it that confused me? Was it because he wasn’t Sacaean? That would be silly, in the end. If he liked me, my heritage had little to do with it, I was certain – he liked me because I was Lyn. Was it because he wasn’t what I was expecting in a man? That could be it. And that would also be silly.

Okay, expectations aside, what was it I liked about him?

Memories of a flustered blush, of an intent, calculating expression, of a strong, calm voice giving orders, of a soft voice responding to my questions, of hands shaking and worried for my sake, and most of all of glad grey eyes shining with the thoughts of things he loved came into my mind. He was a good man, certainly. I could do worse than let myself fall for him. Even if I had to wait for him, tied as I was now to Caelin, at least for the time being.

I could bear waiting.

Now if he would only _say_ something.

It had been two weeks since I arrived at Castle Caelin, and we’d eaten dinner, and I was talking with Reissmann and Grandfather, when I looked around the hall. “Wait, Ceniro’s not here tonight.”

“Want me to go look for him? Lady Lyn?” Florina asked in a whisper.

“If he left without saying goodbye like Matthew and Rath did, I’m going to chew him out so hard… Yes, please, Florina.” I turned and bowed to my grandfather. “I’ll be right back; I’m just going out to the wall.”

“As you like,” Grandfather said, with a twinkle in his eye. I pretended to ignore it; I couldn’t huff at my grandfather, after all.

Wil and Florina had found him together. “He set out towards the north,” Wil said, having spotted him while on the wall and run down to tell me. “You better hurry if you want to chew him out!”

“Thanks. I’ll be right back.” I saddled my horse, grabbed the staff, and hurried out of the gate.

He hadn’t gotten too far form the castle, and I caught up to him on a little hill to the north-west. The sun was setting behind him, and it was a little hard to see his face in the shadow. “Ceniro!”

But he didn’t look unhappy to see me. Actually, he looked embarrassed. “Um… hi, Lyn.” And his voice was definitely sheepish.

I dismounted beside him and frowned at him. “You weren’t going to sneak off like some of the others, were you?”

He looked down at the ground. “I’m really bad at farewells, and, um, it’s time I was on my way.”

I had thought as much and I gave him a sad smile, forgetting all about giving him a piece of my mind. “I’ll really miss you, you know. You’ve done so much for me, and…” And what? And I love you? That seemed a bit strong, a bit sudden. Shouldn’t he say it first? We were finally able to talk, and now neither of us was talking, only staring.

The silence got more and more awkward until Ceniro cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, you’re all set now, with your grandfather and the others. Are you going to take him to the plains when he’s well?”

“Yes, when he’s well, and when he’s not too busy. I’m told that he has a lot of work to do, setting the things Lundgren did back to rights.” Ceniro already knew that last part, why was I telling him that?

“Ah. I see.” He didn’t know what to say to that either.

More staring. What wouldn’t I give for some comedy crickets right now. In Sacae that would be all we could hear, especially at this time of year. But here there was only the wind, and a distant bird.

“Oh! I almost forgot.” After all the effort I’d put in to getting it and bringing it. I turned to get the staff and present it to him. “I thought you might like this, since yours got broken before.”

That big, involuntary smile. It lit up his face, lit up his eyes, and made him incredibly handsome. My mind was made up. Time to stop acting like a little girl. I was a grown woman, and if he wasn’t going to say anything, I would. “Oh, thank you!” he was saying. “Th-that’s very thoughtful of you. I’ll take care of it.”

“Ceniro,” I almost interrupted him, “y-you like me, right?” _No, don’t shake, my voice_. My heart was beating too fast. It wasn’t like this was a battle or anything.

He froze. “Ummmmm…”

“Y-you do, right?” Was there someone else in his life, that he hadn’t told me about before? The longer he stood staring, the more red I became. I couldn’t help _that_. But also the bigger the anxious knot in my stomach became.

“Well, um, yes, everyone does-”

He was evading, his eyes looking everywhere except at me. _Just say it. I know already._ “No, I mean… Do you… do you love me?”

“Y-y-yes. Um. Yes, I do. Um.”

I giggled uncontrollably. _Your turn, Lyn._ “I thought so! Um, I, um, like you too.”

He dropped the staff, still staring as if his mind had just exploded. Maybe it had. Which would be too bad. He had a wonderful mind.

I filled in the gaps. “So, um, let’s meet again! I understand if you don’t want to stay, of course, you’re a wanderer, and you told me you always want to see what’s over the next hill, but… you will come back eventually, right?”

His brain was still playing catch-up, apparently. “L-lyn, I’m- I’m not the right guy-”

Did he think I hadn’t spent any time thinking about my decision? “That’s not true!” I said firmly. “You are if I say you are. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. All right?”

“A-all right.” And he gave me a shaky but completely genuine smile.

“So are you going to kiss me or what?” I demanded, my heart pounding in my chest.

He swallowed hard. “Um.”

But his arms reached out and encircled me, drawing me closer so gently, as if he were afraid his touch would crush me. The look of wonder on his face suggested he thought he was dreaming. I put my arms about his neck and waited.

But I was impatient, and a moment later, I was the one who leaned up, closed my eyes, and touched my lips to his. I felt his breath catch and his arms tightened around me, and he returned the kiss, gently. I would have been more glad with something more passionate for my first kiss, but this seemed to be his first kiss too, and he was a shy person. I would take it. It was who he was.

Our mouths parted, and I leaned over to whisper in his ear: “But if you ever try to leave without saying goodbye again, whether or not you love me, I’ll kick your backside to Sacae and back.”

He burst into slightly hysterical laughter and held me tightly. “I promise.”

“Good.”

He leaned forward and kissed me again sweetly. “I’ll be back sometime.”

“I know. I’ll be waiting.”

Reluctantly, he let me go. “Well, um, goodbye.”

“Safe journeys,” I wished him, and he picked up the staff and began to stride off, that easy, steady stride of his that could go all day, turning to wave once he reached the bottom of the hill. I waved back, but I didn’t set off back home until he was out of sight and the sun had set.

Home? Castle Caelin, yes, it was home now. Maybe the man I had just set my heart on was no longer there, but I had family there, and good friends, and plenty to keep myself busy until I saw him again, or took my grandfather to Sacae, or both.


	4. Remember Me

### Remember Me

There was no mistake. That was an army approaching from the east, an army with the banners of the house of Laus. My gaze was hard as I dashed back down the wall and over to the great hall to speak to my grandfather, my skirt and hair trailing behind me.

“There’s about three hundred of them,” I said as I approached him, and Wil, behind me, nodded to confirm. “They have seige weapons. I’m not sure how we’re going to fight them off. We only have half that number.” What with most of the Caelin army deployed in the east against a surge of banditry from Khathelet, we were severely underdefended against this surprise attack from Laus.

How dare they!? How dare they attack my grandfather, who hadn’t done anything to provoke it!?

Grandfather was pacing in front of his throne, his head bowed in thought.

“A small group can hold out long against many in a fortified location, my lady,” Kent said. “Remember when we fought bandits in the tower in Bern. But if they have siege weapons…”

Grandfather raised his head and stopped pacing, looking at me with a small smile. “Lyndis. You won’t like this, but I must order you to leave the castle now, before it is surrounded.”

He was right. I hated that order. “What! But – but Grandfather, I must defend you!” He was almost seventy. He had long given up swordfighting, even before he had been poisoned. “I want to help!”

“While there is the slightest chance that the castle will be taken, I must insist on your safety,” Grandfather said firmly, striding to me and putting his hands on my shoulders. “I know you would fight valiantly in defense of me, but Lyndis, your survival is paramount. I am an old man. If Darin comes in, I will try to reason with him. But you are young; you should not lose your life in the foolish politics of Lycian nobles. Take Dame Florina and go to the village.” He turned to Kent, Sain, and Wil. “Commander, Sub-Commander, I will ask that you go with her if you can, but remain for now, and you, Sir Wil.”

I squared my shoulders, frowning. “I will not leave while Castle Caelin stands!” I changed the frown to a plea. “Please, Grandfather, I will leave with Florina if the battle goes poorly. But let me fight first!”

Grandfather hesitated, then shrugged with a rueful smile. “You are as stubborn as your mother. Very well. But when next I say…”

“I promise,” I said, reluctantly. I turned to Kent. “Kent, what’s the plan?” What would Ceniro do, was the thought in all our minds.

“We must bar the gates with all strength,” he said, gesturing to some soldiers, who ran off. “Every man who can shoot, to the walls. The rest, half will be on the walls in case of ladders and grappling hooks, and half in the courtyard in case the gate breaks down. Wil, you are in charge of the archers. Sain, you will be in charge of the other soldiers on the wall. I will remain in the courtyard. Lady Lyndis…”

“I’ll help Sain,” I said. “I’ll have better targets up there, and Florina can whisk me away more easily from there.”

Kent nodded solemnly. “So be it.”

“You make a good commander,” Grandfather said approvingly to Kent, and I nodded, smiling.

Kent lowered his gaze. “Thank you, my lord. …Though that is as far as my strategy extends for now. I wish General Wallace were here. Or Ceniro.”

He’d said it. “We’ll have to do without. Everyone, fight your hardest! I’m counting on all of you!”

“Yes, my lady!” cried the soldiers in the hall, and we ran to our posts.

The battle did not go well. Laus had many archers as well, and while we were all keeping our heads down, a large battering ram was brought up by bulls and moved to attack the gate. Kent brought all the non-archer soldiers down to the courtyard to help defend, but it wasn’t going to be enough, not the way the gate was shaking. Not with all the enemies outside.

A messenger boy came for me. “L-l-lady Lyndis, Lord Hausen commands that you leave at once.” He was terrified to be in this battle, I could see, flinching at each arrow that came over the parapet.

“I understand,” I said unhappily. “Get back into the castle, quickly.” He turned and fled. I looked around. “Kent! I’m out! Florina!”

“Here I am!” Florina cried, and took flight from the courtyard, stopping beside me just long enough to pick me up and shoot high into the air, aiming not for the village, but for the forest south of the castle. “We can hide there for a while before we go to the village. They won’t find us there. There are so many archers!” She couldn’t hide the quaver in her voice, and I hugged her reassuringly as we soared through the air.

“I hope the others are all right,” I said. “We already lost a lot of people. I saw… I saw Emmiline go down, and Caleb and Girion.” I felt Florina shiver. “We’ll be back later, and we’ll avenge them, don’t worry.”

“Oh, Lady Lyn… That is just what I knew you would say.” We were in among the trees now, and she cantered to a stop in a small clearing.

I exhaled long and frustrated. “Now what? We can’t attack Laus with just the two of us.”

“We should go and observe first, then,” Florina said.

“What a sensible suggestion,” I said.

We snuck through the trees until they thinned and we had a good view of the castle. I think it was quite near where we’d done so before, a year ago. But then it had been a lot more than the two of us. “If we even had one more person, I’d consider it.” Florina sighed and shook her lavender head. “I mean it! Grandfather’s in there, Kent and Sain and Wil are in there, Reissmann and Salir are in there, and who’s to say Laus won’t slaughter everyone, even the maids and staff? Isn’t that a thing that happens to defeated Lycian castles?”

Florina shivered and sniffled. “Please don’t say such things, Lady Lyn!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Florina. That was mean of me. Please don’t cry. Wait, what’s that?”

The gate had been broken, and in the melee of soldiers in the remains of it, there was familiar red and green armour. “What are they doing? Are they trying to get out?”

“I think they are!” Florina cried. “And – I think they’ll make it! Laus is too interested in getting inside! Oh! Wil is there too, thank goodness.”

The two knights had somehow made it through the melee and were galloping towards us. Wil was sitting on the back of Sain’s horse, hanging on for dear life. A few arrows shot towards them, but none struck home, it looked like. I stood and waved at them, and they altered course towards me.

There were five other knights after them; they would catch them before they reached the forest. We could take five. “Come on, Florina, saddle up! We’re going to save them, at least.”

Laus underestimated the five of us, and soon after, we were safely in the forest. Kent was bleeding badly from several wounds, and as soon as we stopped, Sain and I almost dragged him off his horse to tend to him with vulneraries and bandages. Wil was injured too, but not as badly, and patched himself up.

“All right, how do you feel, partner?” Sain asked after a minute of frantic work.

Kent lifted his head and furrowed his forehead. “Still like I’ve had a bout with an ogre. I’m glad you’re safe, Lady Lyndis.”

“I’m glad _you’re_ safe,” I said anxiously. “Many Caelin soldiers died back there, and are probably still dying.”

“I know. I wish… but Lord Hausen ordered us to try to meet up with you at the last minute, and we had to try.”

“Well, let’s rest for a minute, and plan out how to retake the castle,” I said.

Sain laughed aloud. “That’s our Lady Lyn. No goal is too big for her!”

“I’m serious,” I said. “We have to rescue everyone.”

“I know,” he said, and his smile was sincere. His wife was still in the castle, after all. He must be worried sick already. “Well, then, What Would Ceniro Do?”

“I honestly have no idea,” I said, frowning. “With only five of us… I know he’s a wonderful strategist, but maybe even he would say this is impossible.”

“Perhaps we could ask Lord Eliwood for assistance,” Kent said. “He is the reason Lord Darin abandoned Laus Castle, after all. He must have a force capable of aiding us.”

“That’s a good idea!” I said. “But Laus is so far away, and Eliwood’s on his own quest to find his father, isn’t he? Although… if his quest led him to Lord Darin already, and Lord Darin is here…”

“I’ll go,” Florina said, standing up.

“Florina?” I asked.

“I can do it,” she insisted. “I know I’d have to go alone a long way, and Eliwood’s a man, but… But he’s a man I’ve met before, and I know how kind he is, and I’ve traveled alone before. I’ve grown up a lot in the last year, Ly- Lady Lyn. I really can do this.”

I smiled at her. “You know what? I know you can. You sound more determined than I’ve ever heard you. We’ll wait here for you, then.”

“You’ll probably be gone two or three days, even if Eliwood marches immediately,” Kent said. “We will stay safe as much as we can, although we might not be able to remain in this forest.”

“I’ll go for supplies,” Wil volunteered. “Without my bow, I just look like a regular guy, right? Laus won’t suspect me.”

“Until then…” I looked in the direction of the castle, although I couldn’t see it through the trees. “Grandfather, stay alive…”

Eliwood arrived to help us three days later, and he did bring a small army. A very small army, really. But he’d come, and that was the important thing, because I was beginning to lose patience and was suggesting to Kent that yes, we could really take the ten-man patrols that were getting closer and closer to the forest.

I heard them before I saw them, but instead of the enemy like I was expecting, I was met with a shock of disheveled bright red hair over surprised happy blue eyes. Behind Eliwood were some other people, including Serra and Dorcas. Eliwood said something, but I couldn’t quite catch it, and I was distracted by Serra running forward to greet me anyway.

At last, Eliwood made it past Serra to greet me. “We’re here to assist you, Lady Lyndis,” he said. “I fear that Marquess Laus may have attacked Caelin because of our actions in attacking Laus. So we are here to help if we possibly can. And yes, Florina came to get us. You will be happy to know that Ceniro is here, co-ordinating the attack.”

“Thank you for coming! I must speak with him as soon as possible.” If he was here, no wonder Eliwood had come with such a small force and with such confidence.

“H-hi,” said a familiar, shy voice almost in my ear, and I jumped with a gasp, looking around in all directions. He wasn’t in the group following Eliwood, so how…? “Look, this end of the battlefield is about to get sticky,” the voice continued, “so you guys – one minute.” And it stopped again.

“W-what was that?” I demanded of Eliwood.

Eliwood tried to look innocent. “You don’t know?”

“Eliwood…!”

“It’s magic. I’m not sure how it works, but it’s been an incredible boon to us. Now, Florina was saying something about you retaking the castle?”

Ceniro’s voice cut in from nowhere again. “As I was saying, once we’ve successfully split the Laus army in two, your group should have enough strength to take the remaining twenty or so and make it inside the gate before they know what hit you. We’ll catch up as soon as we can. Marcus, Kent, make a plan. I’ll check in when I can.”

Only twenty left? Eliwood’s army was incredible, even with Ceniro commanding! I wondered how many were still inside the castle.

Eliwood’s General Marcus and Kent immediately introduced themselves to each other and set to work making their plan. I did as Kent told me, and shortly we were finally engaged in battle with the enemy. My sword was eager; I could finally take out my frustration and worry on suitable targets.

Then the rest of Eliwood’s group began to join us, and I saw more familiar faces – Erk and Matthew. Florina was with them too, and gave me a bright smile, happy with her success. I smiled back, and then went back to fighting.

Everything was going well, I was fighting opposite Eliwood, when a tall, blue-haired man with heavy armour stormed past him, chopped our opponent’s lance in half with a swing of his axe, elbowed the soldier and very nearly Eliwood in the face, and then bashed the soldier in the head with the axe, almost hitting me! As the enemy fell over dead, I stared at this man and my hackles rose. “Are you an ally?”

“That’s what it looks like, yeah,” said the blue-haired man, giving me an unimpressed look. What! I was the one unimpressed with him! “Got a problem with that?”

Why yes, I had several problems! “You fight so recklessly! You’re a threat to your allies! Be more careful next time!”

His blue eyes narrowed dangerously. “Be more careful, or don’t steal your kill?” The nerve-

Eliwood stepped between us. “Hector, Lyndis, please. Let me introduce you. Hector-”

“What!?”

“Hector, this is Lyndis. She’s Lord Hausen’s granddaughter. Lyndis, this is Hector. He’s Lord Uther’s brother.”

I paused. So he wasn’t some idiot. Probably. “His brother? Really?”

“Yes,” said the tall man, his own face softening to something less stone-like. “And, you’re right. I taught myself to fight. So it is a little rough.”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” I said. “I’ve… been on edge, with my grandfather still inside the castle… I don’t even know if he’s alive. I apologize.” I gave him my hand to shake.

“I understand,” he said. “I guess I was kind of a jerk just now. I apologize too.” And he shook my hand firmly. His hands were massive compared to mine.

More importantly – “So you’re here with Ceniro? Where is he? I saw him a minute ago.”

“H-hi,” came a small voice, and I turned to see him shuffle out from behind Sain’s horse. I felt my face light up with a big grin and I threw myself at him to hug him.

“We missed you! It seems like every other day, someone’s saying ‘I wonder what Ceniro’s doing now’. It’s so good to see you! Have you been well?”

“Pretty well,” he said, and backed away out of my hug, blushing fiercely. My stomach flip-flopped. “I can tell you all about it once we’ve secured the castle.”

“Yes,” I said. “Thank you, Ceniro, and you, Eliwood and Hector, for coming to my aid. Without you, I don’t know what I’d be doing right now. Something suicidal, no doubt.”

We took back the castle, but not without loss – Lord Darin escaped by magic, and took Sain’s wife with him. Now that was just adding insult to injury – and liable to drive Sain mad with fear and worry if we didn’t go after him straight away. After a rest. I knew everyone else was exhausted, but I could not rest just yet. While the others ate dinner in the hall, I went beneath the castle to where my grandfather was recuperating from being literally stabbed in the back. “Grandfather…”

He opened his eyes. “Lyndis. You’re safe, thank Saint Elimine.”

“I’m safe. The castle is safe. Some of the soldiers survived. Eliwood came to help us.”

He closed his eyes again. “That’s… good.”

“I was told it would be safer to let everyone think you are dead for the time being,” I said. “So you just rest up and get better. No one will try to assassinate you for a while. Or else I’ll kill them.”

He coughed a laugh. “I imagine you will. Thank you, Lyndis. I’d heard Eliwood was abroad, looking for his father. Darin confirmed as much, in between his ranting about ruling the world. I tried to persuade him he was being used, and I was getting somewhere, but the other man got behind me while I wasn’t paying attention. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I said. “You did what you could. And now I’m going to do what I can. I’m going to go with Eliwood, to get his father back, and to stop Lord Darin. Don’t worry about me, there are many strong fighters there. I met Hector of Ostia, and my old tactician Ceniro is there too.”

“Ah, the tactician boy. He was the one you liked, wasn’t he?”

I looked away, pouting. “…Maybe.”

Grandfather sighed. “Lyndis. I’ve seen what happens when you tell a strong woman she’s not allowed to love someone. You may marry whomever you please, and if the nobles of Caelin protest, they’ll just have to deal with it. You have my word.”

“I’m not marrying him just yet,” I protested, blushing more. “We haven’t even spoken to each other properly since he arrived. I don’t even know if he still likes me.”

“I’d be greatly surprised if he felt otherwise,” Grandfather said with a little smile. “But I will leave your future up to you. In the meantime, be safe, chasing Darin. I can’t not worry over you, even after I fully recover.”

“I will,” I promised. “I’ll be back.”

To my disappointment, I didn’t really get a chance to talk to Ceniro as we journeyed to Badon, the port city south of Laus, to find a ship to take us to the Dread Isle, where Darin reportedly was. I was burning to talk to him, but he was so busy, going about with Eliwood, and I hardly got the chance to even learn what he’d been up to in the last year, and that not in private. I wanted a chance to talk to him alone, to know if he still cared for me, to let him know that I had been thinking about him all the time, that I wanted to see if we could be a couple. That I… I loved him.

But unfortunately, when we got there… “Pirates are fearless, or as close as makes no difference, and they’ll go anywhere for a fee,” said the non-piratical sailor, grimacing fearfully at us. “Who knows? They might decide to accept your mad offer.”

As he hurried away, I turned to glare at the others, who had expressions that suggested they didn’t think the idea was total madness. Time to put a stop to that nonsense. “I will never treat with pirates. Never!”

“If it’s the only way…” Eliwood began.

No! They were kin to the ones who slaughtered my family. I spat in the dust. “I’ve misjudged both of you. To trust them is foolishness. I’ll find another way! I’ll return when I’ve succeeded.” I began to go, and my knights followed me, but I stopped to look at Ceniro. “You’re not coming?” I don’t know why I was disappointed. He had no reason to come with me. I just wanted him to.

He bit his lip nervously and shrugged. “Eliwood hired me…”

My temper soared. He was hiding behind Eliwood? “Bullshit,” I snapped, the worst language I’d ever used. “You could come help me look in sane places if you really wanted to. Goodbye, Ceniro.” He shrank back, a most unhappy look on his face, and I began to feel bad.

“Look here, don’t bully the tactician,” Hector said. “You let him do what he wants to do. What’s your problem, anyway?”

I left, but already I was regretting my outburst. I was upset and angry about pirates, yes, but I didn’t have to hurt Ceniro so badly too. What kind of lover was I if I hurt the person I loved when I was angry? I knew he wasn’t really good at setting his own course when there were other people around.

Did I, though? I had only just been getting to know him during our journey a year ago, had only known him a few months, and then he hadn’t come back or even sent a letter for a while year. Was I in – in love with a real person? I could have exaggerated everything I knew about him. Was I even in love with him? Was I imagining it, a naive girl just wanting to be in love, it didn’t matter with who?

A well-worn memory of smiling grey eyes came to mind. I hadn’t imagined everything.

But now I wouldn’t blame him if he had forgotten his own feelings for me over the last year. The way he’d cut short the hug I gave him when we met again, the way he cringed pathetically in the face of my anger, it was easy to see he was at least questioning our tentative relationship, perhaps more than I was.

Maybe I’d just killed his feelings for me, as effectively as if I’d taken my sword to them. I held back a woeful sigh. I was the daughter of Hassar, I did not sigh over lost boyfriends. Especially not ones who cringed pathetically at my temper.

I’d have to make the best of it. We all had the same goals in mind, to rescue Lord Elbert and stop Lord Darin, and the army needed both his tactics and my sword.

“Lady Lyndis?” Kent asked gently, and I came to myself to realize I was striding purposefully down the street with no goal in mind.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “Just… thinking. Let’s try in that direction.”


	5. Believe Me

### Believe Me

Lord Elbert was dead. Ninian and Nils were with us. The situation was far more complicated than any of us had feared.

And Ceniro had been avoiding me ever since I yelled at him in Badon.

I had to stay strong, for my companions, and for Eliwood, who was under so much stress even before we found and lost his father, but there was a part of me inside that was wretched. When I remembered how good friends we’d been last year, compared to now, I just wanted to go somewhere by myself and cry.

And now that we were back on the pirate ship, heading back to Badon, I had time to do that. To cry for Ceniro, and to cry for Eliwood, and to cry because I’d failed both of them.

Florina came into our cabin before I was quite done, but that was all right. It was time to pull myself together and be a grown-up again. “How are you doing, Florina?” I sat up to look at her and wiped my eyes, putting on a tired smile.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” Florina asked, giving me a sad smile of her own. “You’re tired and upset too, and yet you’re still being strong for me.”

“But you’re being strong for me,” I pointed out. “And for your sister, too. How is she?”

“She’s been doing better,” Florina said. “She knows Priscilla and Erk and Ceniro, so I can come talk to you and not worry that she’s going to be alone.”

Ceniro… “He must be so upset right now.”

“He is…”

“Hm? How do you know?”

“He’s not sleeping.”

Oh? Maybe I could talk to him, then. There’d been no better time so far. “Where is he?” I asked, standing.

Florina blinked at me, then smiled. “He’s on the main deck by a barrel. You haven’t talked since you met again, have you?”

I hesitated. “No… There hasn’t been the right time, with everything happening, and… augh.” I couldn’t explain everything that was in my head and my heart with him. “I don’t know what to do with him. I’ve never known what to do with him. He’s the same as ever, calm and clever and with those amazing eyes, and he seems more confident than last year, more open, and I just keep upsetting him. He gives me orders as professionally as ever, but he doesn’t want to talk me, and I’m afraid to bother him more…”

“You like him, though, right?” Florina asked.

“Yes,” I said. “I want to… I want to talk to him more, and see his face light up when he talks about traveling, I want to hug him again, I want to stroke his hair, I want to walk with him through Sacae, just the two of us…” My heart was aflutter even just talking about these things.

“Then go talk to him now,” Florina said, with a little smile. “He probably wants to talk to you as badly as you want to talk to him, but he’s too shy to. It’s like how I wanted to thank Lord Hector for saving my life, but I didn’t have the courage to until you yelled at him for me.”

I blushed; that was not the most spectacular memory I had of Hector. Actually, most memories I had of interacting with Hector usually made both of us look bad. I was really too hard on Eliwood’s friend. “You’re right. And I’d like to do that now. Sleep well, Florina; I’ll see you later.”

“Good night, Lady Lyn.”

I wandered out of our cabin, stopping to peek through a crack into Eliwood’s, and up to the deck; Ceniro was a lump near the foot of the main mast, huddled in his pale green cloak. The same one he’d been wearing the year before, it looked like, and getting a bit threadbare around the shoulders and ragged around the bottom. Everything about him was old… although his boots seemed newer. They were less patched than the ones I remembered about him. He was staring at his farseer tool, and the shifting colours in the little glow of magical light it gave off told me he was looking at the battles again. And probably again, and again. I knew him that well, at least.

I approached him a little hesitantly and crouched near him. “Florina tells me you’re not sleeping.”

He blinked stupidly at me, his eyes tired but unwilling to close. “How does she know?”

Wasn’t it obvious? “I didn’t ask. Probably was passing by and saw. Ceniro…” I took a deep breath before broaching the more important topic. “It’s not your fault, you know that, right?”

His hands clenched unconsciously around the farseer. “Lord Eliwood asked me to come on this quest. I volunteered to help. He… Well, his father is gone, so we didn’t exactly succeed, did we?”

“That’s because it’s a bigger quest than we thought it was. When did you start calling him ‘lord’ again?” Ceniro didn’t answer, didn’t look at me. “Don’t. He doesn’t want that. I don’t know him all that well, but he would be very bothered by it.”

“He’s also lost in grieving…”

“Which means he needs us more than ever; he doesn’t need us to run away because we think he needs space or because we’re afraid of him or of hurting him. He does need space, but he needs us to be there, too. Anyway, you’re avoiding the point.”

He sighed. “I just… I know I could have prevented it. Somehow.”

“How?” Flashes came into my mind, the horrified look on his face when he saw we were caught between Jaffar and Ephidel, the even more horrified look when he saw the dragon, the desperate, frantic calculations running through his head and across his face, and a terrible sad look that said he was preparing to lose someone, a look I’d never seen before and hoped never to see again. “I saw your face during that showdown. You were thinking that we were completely hung out to dry by fate. We can’t fight two demonically-powerful magic users, an assassin, and a _dragon_ of all things.”

His words came slowly, pebbles thrown in a pool of hopelessness. “But… while I don’t regret any of the things that happened up until the Dragon’s Gate, not really… I mean, I think they were all necessary… And I try to live without… regrets…” Very wise, that. “Maybe I could have done things differently, we could have gotten there sooner, Nergal wouldn’t have been ready…”

“Not true,” I said firmly. He was wise, but not seeing sense right now. How was I the sensible one? “Being there sooner would have meant nothing. Nergal was waiting for Ninian to come back. And we didn’t know; what could we have done? Left her and half the group back while going in with the other half to rescue Lord Elbert? We might have failed entirely doing that.”

I shook a finger at him mock-chidingly. “Besides, we know now. What you are doing is absolutely useless. We won’t make the same mistake twice, and you are not analyzing what happened to prepare yourself for next time – and there will be a next time! What you are doing is self-flagellation. You want to live without regrets? You are doing it wrong.”

He sighed again and put his head back for a long moment. “…You’re right.”

Of course I was. I casually got closer to him. Would it be all right if… Well, I was cold. “Can I borrow some of your cloak? It’s cold out here and I left mine in the cabin.” I felt a little foolish about it. I knew it was cold at night on a ship.

To my hopeful joy, he held one end open so that I could join him under it, and I wasted no time in sliding under it next to him. There wasn’t much, so I had to lean on him to keep myself warm and I had to hold it in front of me, but… he was warm, too. I was a little surprised how little he reacted to my proximity – before, he would have been blushing all day. But he’d grown up a little more in the year he’d been away. We both had.

He finally put the farseer away and clasped his hands on his knees in front of him. “I can’t promise I won’t think about it. But Eliwood needs more than that from me. So I’ll keep trying to do my best for him, whatever he decides to do next.”

“Good call,” I told him. “You know, you’re not the only one thinking that. Remember, I said to him I would try to prevent him from losing a parent? And I’m sure Hector is pretty upset about it too.”

“Hector’s asleep in my cabin with Wil and Guy. He snores.”

I had to giggle. “Is that why you came up here?”

“Sort of. I think he is pretty exhausted, though. He spent all today shepherding us back to the shore.”

“True, I don’t think we could have pulled through so smoothly without him. He really is better than he appears at first glance.” I really should try not to fight with him so much. I ran again through the still-short list of my interactions with the man and winced. I was really a pain to Hector as well as Ceniro.

“I like him,” Ceniro said simply.

I had to admit it. “I like him too. And you’re right. He’s worked hard, being a strong leader for the rest of us, he deserves a break to snore. Eliwood’s probably not sleeping either. I peeked on my way up here… he’s just sitting there, holding his father’s hand. It’s… heartbreaking.”

I could feel Ceniro’s gaze drift in my direction, cautiously. “Did you ever…”

I knew what he was asking. “No.” Already I could feel tears welling up. When, oh when, would I be able to face my family’s slaughter with composure? It had been almost two years and I still grieved them like it was a month ago. Not that I ever wanted to forget them, or even what happened, but just that I could do so without weeping so hard. “The Taliver poisoned the Lorca’s water supply. By the time they attacked, we were all too sick to fight, but it was too late by the time we discovered the poison… My father sent me away on a stumbling horse, and I was found delirious by Djute scouts a day later.” I was as tense as a bowstring and forced myself to finish the story. “By the time I woke up ten days later… my people were all dead and buried.”

Ceniro shifted suddenly and I felt his left arm slide around me to pull me against his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I said, the kind gesture reviving me. I leaned my head against his chest and treasured the thrill that ran through me in response. “I already told you, I will return someday and destroy them, though I’ll show them more mercy than they showed the Lorca. And you and the Caelin knights and any who choose to come will be with me.”

“We will,” he assured me, his voice quiet but strong. It comforted me more than I could have said.

“Just as we will be at Eliwood’s side as he takes on Nergal and the Black Fang. Though I think Eliwood is less… interested in revenge than I am.”

I felt him shrug. “He might be, but he seems the kind of person to be more interested in protecting the remaining people he loves, I think. Though taking revenge and stopping… um… the end of the world as we know it look a lot like the same thing from here.”

“Anyway, the Taliver will be child’s play for you after the Black Fang.”

“That’s probably true.”

We sat in silence for a moment. Was it time to talk about the other thing yet? It was probably time to talk about the other thing. Although the arm around me mostly answered the questions I had. …Or did it? He wouldn’t do this for just anyone, certainly… but someone as friendly with him as I was, would he do it for them, even if he wasn’t in love with them? Probably. So yes, I had to ask, to know.

“So is it just me, or were you avoiding me since we met again in Caelin?”

He flinched. “Not at first… just being busy.” I’d thought as much. Although the way he escaped my tackle-hug at Caelin had given me doubts. “Then you were mad at me for staying with Eliwood to talk to pirates…”

“But I got over that…”

“I know, but I was… afraid, still.”

“Afraid of me?” I wouldn’t have gone that far. “Ceniro, you are a silly, silly man.”

“Well… how was I supposed to know?” he asked defensively. “You can hold a grudge when you want to.”

Normally that would have irritated me, but he was right, it was true, I could. “So… you were still afraid of me when we were traveling across the Dread Isle?”

“Um… a bit, yes.”

I snorted derisively. “Ceniro…” What was I going to do with him? Apparently he wasn’t going to come to the point before I was. I had to say it as clearly as I knew how. …And if I got a nice reaction out of him in doing so, bonus. I lifted my head and quickly kissed him on the cheek.

I heard him swallow and his chest stopped moving for breathing, but his heart was pounding. My own heart was pounding. Then he sort of gasped a breath before he spoke again. “Are… are we starting there, then? Where we left off… last year?”

“Why not?” I asked, trying to sound casual and confident. “We may have changed, both of us, but that doesn’t mean that our bond has. Does it?”

“I-I don’t know.” He hadn’t stammered around me for a long time. It was cute.

“What, so you don’t love me anymore? I distinctly remember you saying you loved me,” I reminded him with a teasing grin, secure in his answer.

“I do!” he exclaimed, and blushed furiously. “I do,” he went on more quietly. “You’re still the most amazing woman I ever met. I’m just… figuring things out still, about myself.” _You and me both_. “Just wait; I’ll give up my wandering ways to stay with you forever yet.”

“But what if I don’t want you to give up your wandering ways? What if I want to join you on them?”

“What will become of Caelin?”

Was it really that important? “Ummm… maybe I can make Kent the new Marquess after my grandfather’s passing. Of course I will certainly stay while my grandfather lives, and we’d make frequent visits back there even after. But I’d be a terrible Marquess anyway.”

“But you’re a natural leader…”

I was? That was the nicest thing anyone had said to me or about me in a long time. “Of the non-existent Lorca, perhaps… and of the dozen survivors, none would follow a woman…”

“Their loss,” he quipped, and I had to smile.

We fell into silence, comfortable silence, both of us relaxed against each other. I was quite warm now, warmed by his arm and his body, and the rocking motion of the ship was quite gentle tonight. And for the first time since Laus had shown up, I was happy. I wasn’t crazy; Ceniro loved me; I loved him, we were together for the time being.

And finally I was sure; I did love him. My doubts before had been silly insecurities. I was glad I hadn’t mentioned them at all; they would just make _him_ insecure and then we’d be trapped in a never-ending spiral of insecurity. But no, I was sure now. Hearing his voice again, just talking about things, even unimportant things… I couldn’t see his face too well in the dark, but I knew how he would look, and how his lovely eyes would look… And being close to him like this, closer than I’d ever been before, for longer than ever before, and to be comfortable in it, this was the best feeling ever. And I was pretty sure he felt the same.

And… he was a good person. A good man. I would give my life for him if I had to.

His breathing deepened and became more even, and I realized he had fallen asleep beside me. I had to smile, but he was tired and had stayed up far too late beating himself up over things that weren’t his fault. I didn’t feel terribly tired just yet, though, so I stayed awake, watching the sky go up and down a little, smelling the strange salt air, still thinking about us. I was too happy to sleep.

Should I let my fancy run wild, and imagine days ahead together? Did I dare? Our quest was only half over, it seemed, and if there were dragons involved, there would be plenty of danger that could kill either or both or all of us. He could overcome almost anything, though… and if we did survive, I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him. As much time as he would let me. I wanted to see him smile every day, wanted to hold him and feel him holding me. He still hadn’t kissed me yet, and I hoped he would tomorrow. Fragments of dreams for the future flitted through my head…

I hoped he trusted me enough to believe me. Even people in love sometimes didn’t believe each other. Even sometimes didn’t trust each other enough to try to believe, although I thought he would try for me. But Lord Elbert’s death really wasn’t his fault. There was nothing he could have done to make the situation less catastrophic. Nils was the only person who could have stopped it, who could have gotten through to Ninian under her mind-control, and the fact that he stopped it when he did was nothing short of a miracle. Even the genius beside me couldn’t account for things he didn’t understand, for things no one could understand.

Another hour more, and my own eyes were starting to close when I heard soft but heavy footsteps and glanced around to see Hector coming up on deck. Wasn’t he sleeping in Ceniro’s room?

He saw us and came over with sleepy eyes. “What’re you two doing up here?”

“He couldn’t sleep, and neither could I,” I answered softly, not wanting to wake him. “I thought you were sleeping.”

“Was. Got up to go to the… head. You should sleep in a bunk, though, it’s weird enough sleeping on a boat. Ship. Thing.”

Hector newly awoken was not the most coherent of people, certainly. I smiled. “I’m afraid I’m stuck here for now.”

“Hm? Oh.” I was still getting used to the fact that Hector could be gentle when he wanted to, and he was gentle now as he lifted Ceniro into his arms. “I’ll get him back to bed. I’m sure he’d love to wake up next to you, the lucky guy, but he’d probably also appreciate waking up without a crick in his neck.”

I giggled quietly. “You’re probably right. You’ll be able to sleep again too, right?”

“Dunno. Eliwood’s still awake. I’ll try.”

“Hector… thank you for getting us here.”

He blinked at me. “You’re welcome, Lyn. Night.”

“Night.”


	6. Wait for Me

### Wait For Me

We were in Bern, traveling towards the Shrine of Seals. We’d seen many strange things since we arrived back in Badon, and we were about to see more, I was sure, in the next few days.

Ceniro’s hero Lord Pent of Etruria had joined our cause, with his archer wife Louise, and that event had loosened Ceniro’s tongue a little; now I got to hear all about his previous adventures with both of them. If I didn’t know better, I’d have said Ceniro loved Pent more than me! But the kisses we stole from each other throughout the day whenever we weren’t on the march were more than enough to assure me otherwise, not to mention the soft smiles that came over his face whenever he looked at me, or the sweet way he spoke to me when not in battle. We tried to be discrete, but privacy was hard to come by in this increasingly large group. Fortunately, we weren’t teased too hard by our companions.

And in battle, we were closer than ever. I no longer had to stay by his side to protect him – even if I wanted to – but it seemed he could read my mind more easily than ever. And maybe I was starting to understand him, too, as I could sometimes predict what he would ask of me as well as if I were a sword in his hand. Once I got used to his voice always being in my ear, which was very nice on its own, I could fight for him without reservation, my friends at my side. Our fights were harder, the enemies stronger and more numerous than ever before, and yet he guided us admirably through the thick of things, sometimes with strategies that seemed impossible or crazy or that would risk the lives of our weaker fighters, but we always came through somehow. So I couldn’t quite predict him yet. And probably I never would. No one could.

I wasn’t alone in my happiness; many of our companions were also becoming close, as friends and maybe as lovers. Eliwood and Ninian had found a measure of solace after the Dread Isle in each other’s company, to Nils’ dismay, and Florina and Wil, and Kent and Fiora, spent a lot of time together. I was happy for them all, supported by my own boyfriend, who thought he was being sneaky in sending certain couples to fight near each other when we needed to fight. He wasn’t nearly as sneaky as he thought, but it never seemed to interfere with our success, and many of my friends did seem to fight better when close to the ones they particularly cared about.

He was such a romantic. And I loved that about him, too.

It was a soft moonlit night the night after we saved Prince Zephiel from the Black Fang, and we were camped in an old abandoned fortress. Ceniro set the watch, but I didn’t see him go to his bunk afterwards, rather the opposite, so I set out in search of him.

He was walking along the wall, ragged green cloak drifting behind him, looking out at who knows what. “Couldn’t sleep?” I asked him, coming up behind him.

He smiled at me and my heart fluttered. “It’s not that,” he said, and made a vague gesture outwards. “Look at this land under the moonlight. The jagged white mountains, the dark forests…”

I had to laugh. “Oh you.” It was so him. So adorable.

“What about you?” he asked, and it took me a moment to remember I’d asked him why he wasn’t sleeping.

“I saw you go.”

“Ah, yes, Sacaean sharpness of senses,” he teased. Pfft, it hadn’t been that hard. Our hands were entwined by now.

“It’s not for nothing we say our best can shoot down the stars…”

He looked at me curiously. “Do you shoot at all?”

Wait, he didn’t know that yet? “I know how. But it’s not my best skill. I prefer to engage the enemy directly; I have more control that way.”

“I see…” He looked back out at the land, and then back to me. “Did you want to talk to me about anything in particular?”

“No, why? Did you want to be alone?”

“Oh, never when you’re around,” he said, smiling, and my heart warmed. “You know that.”

“Do I, though?”

His eyes met mine in the moonlight. “I love you.” There was something partly teasing, partly sincere, and just a shadow of reproach at my teasing in his voice.

“I love you too,” I said happily, reassuring him.

“You’re too wild and free to be limited to just me.”

 _What? Where did that come from?_ “Well, I’m not giving my love to all the men in Elibe, either,” I said saucily. “Or women.”

“That’s not what I-”

“I know, silly. Why don’t you think you’re good enough?”

He shrugged. “I don’t really have a good answer for you, except… is anyone good enough?”

“I dunno,” I said, laughing playfully. “Now, um… Hector might be a brute, but he’s a secretly kind and generous one.” It was true. We got along a lot better than we had when we first met.

“…And he shares your sense of humour,” Ceniro said, agreeing with me playfully.

I blinked. “Really?” I hadn’t thought of it that way. “I guess he does. I thought I was more refined than that.”

“You are,” Ceniro assured me, “you just laugh at the same things. And the things you said are true, he is a good man. And he is a lord, he could do much better for you than I could.”

 _Don’t be ridiculous._ “I don’t want better.” There wasn’t any such thing. Ceniro was amazing. He didn’t have to be a lord to do well for me.

‘ _Although_ ,’ said a traitorous voice in my head, ‘ _you once said you’d have nothing to do with lords who needed to go through courting rituals to be interested in you, and Hector is nothing of the sort…_ ‘

I told that voice to go jump in a field full of spears and put my arms around his neck, turning him to face me head-on. He automatically put his arms around my waist. “Oh no, don’t tell me I’ve scared you and seeded doubt in your mind?”

His bashful “Um…” and the fact he was trying not to look me in the eyes told me that I had. Oops. I forgot I had to be careful teasing him. It wasn’t like teasing Sain. He really did take me seriously, and while he was more confident than he’d been even when he’d come to my rescue in Caelin, he was still quick to downplay his worth.

I had to fix it. I grabbed his head and pulled him towards me, smashing our mouths together a bit clumsily. His arms tightened reflexively around me and I heard him give a muffled, startled squeak as we collided.

Then he growled at me and backed me into the wall. Oh my. Oh yes, this was what I wanted. His hands began to stroke the curves of my waist and I hummed with pleasure.

I giggled as he released my mouth. “That was nice.”

His eyes were still far too serious for my liking. “You know… if you did want to go with him… I wouldn’t stop you. He would be a much better choice for you.”

Augh, I hadn’t fixed it! I said one stupid thing and now he thought our entire relationship was in jeopardy. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Which of us? Both of us. “Ceniro, shut up,” I told him, almost angrily. “Stop saying that. Don’t make me-” _Why yes, actually maybe you_ should _make me drag you back in for more kisses. Do you see me kissing Hector like this? How can you doubt yourself when I’m telling you as plain as I can this is what I want?_

His arms were tightly around me, his hands wound in my ponytail, his weight – still not overly heavy, although he was eating better now that he had an army supporting him – pressing me pleasantly into the wall. My tongue was in his mouth, playing with his, and I brushed my knee against his, a temptation for later-

“Ceniro! Ceniro?”

Damn that farseer. Sometimes it was the actual worst. Or maybe damn Pent for having it respond to whenever someone wanted to talk to the bearer. Even Ceniro growled again, his brow furrowed in annoyance as he pulled away from me and took a step back, breathing hard. I had to giggle at the look on his face.

“Eliwood?” he said, trying to regain his composure. _No, don’t, I like you this way._

“Legault has something to tell us. Can you meet us at the eastern gate? And can you find Lyndis, too?”

His eyes flicked to me where I leaned against the wall, smiling at him with kiss-reddened lips. “Lyn’s with me.”

“Oooh,” I heard Hector say, obviously having jumped to a correct conclusion.

“Please don’t,” Ceniro said with more annoyance than he normally might. “We’ll be right there.”

“Trouble?” I asked mildly. Yes, I was annoyed too, but it couldn’t be helped. That was our life right now. He huffed and nodded, and I laughed and reached up to pat his head, smoothing down some of the hair I’d fluffed up accidentally. “You’re cute when you’re disgruntled.”

He stared blankly at me and I brushed past him to head down to the gate to see what the problem was.

At least he seemed to have gotten over the Hector comment.

But now I hadn’t, as immediately, I began to notice the blue-haired man more than before. In general, we were getting to be friends, like Hector and Eliwood were friends, and we’d eat in the same little group, tell tales together, and sometimes we’d spar – and he’d beat me, half the time! That wasn’t the problem.

The problem was when he saved my life and then looked embarrassed about it. Or when he’d say something unexpectedly nice to Nils or Florina as if it wasn’t anything important. Or when he’d say something that made me want to hit him, and then follow up with something that made me laugh. Or even when he’d make sure everyone in the army got something to eat before going to get any himself, even though he could eat three servings in one sitting.

And he was attractive; so very manly! Broad shoulders, strong jaw, big rough hands under his gauntlets, keen blue eyes. He was confident and commanding, not very lordly or well-mannered, even by my ‘uncultured’ standards, but loyal to a fault and seemingly free of the plague of self-doubt that I knew Ceniro, Eliwood, and I all suffered. At first I’d have thought he was a dumb brute, except for the fact that Eliwood wasn’t likely to be good friends with that sort of man – like Bartre. But no, Hector was intelligent… and if he chose not always to show it, it was a deliberate decision. He was everything I had previously thought I wanted in a man. He was my equal in every way.

What would happen if I did go with him? Ceniro had said he wouldn’t complain, that it would be my decision – even if I knew such a decision would hurt him tremendously. But just to imagine… It wasn’t as comforting as imagining my life with Ceniro. Yes, I’d be the wife of one of the most powerful men in Lycia, but I never cared about that. Even if I came to properly love Hector, instead of just being uncomfortably attracted to him, I’d spend half my time going back to the plains, like the nature goddess of ancient Ilian superstition who married the god of death and spent the winter in the underworld.

In another life, perhaps, a life without Ceniro already by my side…

But Ceniro’s strengths complemented my weaknesses, and vice versa, and he understood my love of the plains, would always be able to come with me when I wanted to be there. And I was not going to give up on someone I’d already pledged myself to. I just had to get over this extra feeling, and hope that no one noticed, hope that Hector didn’t feel anything special for me. Which I had a sneaking suspicion that he did.

One thing I knew; neither of them would force me to choose himself. Perhaps it sounds like a basic requirement in a man, but it was something I valued very much.

It was going to be difficult to ‘get over it’, though, especially since the next couple days were very busy and we hardly had time to sleep, let alone spend private time with Ceniro. In fact, the next chance we got wasn’t until we returned to Ostia.

Eliwood had Durandal, but Ninian was dead, unintentionally by his own hand. Both Nils and Eliwood were crushed, Eliwood in a worse state than when his father had died, and Nils was basically catatonic, moving when led and eating when fed, but not responding otherwise. Florina, who had been close with Ninian, watched over him, and I was glad for that at least.

I was longing just to be held by my sweet strategist for an hour or two after we were settled into Castle Ostia’s guest rooms, since even I couldn’t stay strong forever, but then Lord Athos called a meeting to explain things to us. Which in the end I was glad for, as we learned so much, about the Legendary Weapons, the Scouring, and Nergal.

And _then_ we were attacked.

 _Father Sky and Mother Earth have pity on me_ , I thought sourly as we hurried to the Ostian soldiers’ aid, following Hector. _If I don’t get a break after this, I will… scream and challenge Karel to a duel to the death. Or something_. I tried not to be distracted by Hector’s shoulders as he gestured to the soldiers around him, telling them to take heart, that we would be helping them.

Eliwood was beginning to recover, using this battle as catharsis for his rage and grief. It was inspiring, and I took a hint from him, losing myself in pure combat in a way I hadn’t been able to do for a while. None of this complicated political nonsense, none of this complicated emotional nonsense, just to destroy these inhuman morphs before they could kill my friends, to follow the occasional orders from the calm voice in my ear, to dodge and slash and run with my good friends at my side.

It was almost as good as being able to hold my tactician for an hour.

After we defeated the morphs, after we debriefed with Lord Athos, I steeled my courage and followed Ceniro towards his own room. Like in Castle Pherae, he’d been given a room all to himself, a privilege I’m not sure he wanted, but certainly deserved.

And it would come in handy, if he didn’t push me away. “Ceniro, wait.”

He turned at once, tired grey eyes brightening a little to see me, but partly with concern. “What is it? Are you all right?”

What? He knew I wasn’t injured. “I’m fine. I was wondering…” I trailed off. _Get it together, Lyn_.

“Mmhmm?”

I lifted my head and looked him seriously in the eye. “Just for tonight… can I stay with you?”

He blinked, his mouth opening and closing once. “Lyn, it’s…”

…not proper, not done, scandalous, I knew every way that sentence could end. “I know! But… just to be with you. We haven’t been able to properly be together for… weeks, really.” Sometimes I felt the reason I was attracted to Hector was I was just able to be with him more. “And… we’re both reserved, undemonstrative people when it comes to this sort of thing, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to hold you often.” _I need you right now. Just your presence. Your touch. Your heartbeat. Nothing more_.

He smiled his involuntary little smile. “Or I you. But with you beside me I worry that I won’t get any sleep, even if nothing happens.”

I took a step closer, close enough to feel his body heat. “Nothing will happen,” I said firmly, even though I saw his eyes dilate with my proximity. Mother had said a couple times never to sleep with a man before I married him. But she had said nothing about sleeping beside him. Ceniro was honourable. He wouldn’t touch me wrongly even if he got over his shyness, even if we didn’t both know I was the stronger of the two of us. “Just this is our best chance of having a moment before things go all crazy.”

His smile was a little wry. “You’re not seducing me with ‘tomorrow we may die’, are you?”

I lifted my chin in pretended offense, even though my arms were reaching out to his shoulders and he was reaching for my waist. “Absolutely not. You’ll make sure none of us die. And I’m not seducing you!”

“Noted,” he said, with that same smile, pulling me close to him, and his face grew tender. “Lyn…”

“Shhh,” I said. Now was not the time for words. We had time to talk later. Now was only the time for holding, and being held, and kisses. Eventually we made it into the room before anyone came by, got our boots off, and still fully clothed became wrapped up in sheets and lying still on a proper bed for once, my head on his shoulder, our arms still tightly around each other, not saying anything, just being together, recovering together, after the craziness of the last couple weeks.

Just before I drifted off to sleep, I knew I was in the right place.

When I woke in his arms – still fully clothed, of course – the next morning, something had become clear to me through the night.

I needed to apologize to Hector at some point. For all the crap I’d put him through since we’d met, from harshly criticizing his fighting style, to all the bickering we’d done on the Dread Isle, even under magical influence, to the nit-picking and pestering and complaining and ribbing I still did to him every day. Hector wasn’t as patient as Ceniro – although, no one was as patient as Ceniro. I don’t know how he stood it.

And maybe… just a little bit, for my own peace of mind… for letting him occupy my thoughts as much as he had, for unintentionally leading him on, even if he hadn’t noticed.

But in the meantime, watching Ceniro sleep was great fun. Just enough light leaked in through and around the curtains that I could see quite clearly. He had surprisingly long eyelashes that were a little hard to see when his eyes were open, I think because they were not much darker than the light brown colour of his hair. His mouth was open slightly, creating the smallest whistling sound when he breathed. He looked so peaceful.

Eventually his breathing changed, just slightly, and then those big beautiful eyes opened, reluctantly, blearily, and turned in my direction.

“Hey,” he whispered hoarsely.

“Hi,” I whispered back.

“Is it time to get up?”

“I don’t know, and I honestly don’t care yet.”

He smiled hazily, but his arms tightened around me and he made as if to roll over to kiss me when he stopped, sniffing. “I really shouldn’t have slept in _all_ my clothes. I’m gross right now.”

I giggled. “I don’t care. Come here.” I pulled his face around and he leaned forward to kiss me.

After a delightful half-hour, in which I discovered my tactician was a lot bolder when still half-asleep after a good night’s rest, and after an interesting breakfast hour in which I learned he’d accidentally been carrying a bomb since he’d last been in Santaruz – I could have punched him down Castle Ostia’s steps for that – we set out shopping for the army, Eliwood and Hector and Ceniro and me, with some others to fetch and carry.

I found my chance partway through the morning, when Ceniro and I met up with Hector again. He looked preoccupied, so I sneaked behind him and threw his cloak over his head. He yelled; I laughed.

“So… I’m sorry,” I blurted out, my posture going uncharacteristically shy, although he couldn’t quite see me yet.

He finally got the cloak back to its place and mock-glared at me. “For ambushing me with my own clothing? I should think so!”

Ack, explaining things. Keep it simple. “No… for… When we first met, I criticized your fighting style, remember? …I wanted to apologize…”

“What, that?” He looked completely confused, and in hindsight, I didn’t blame him. My words kind of came out of nowhere. “That was ages ago. I’d forgotten about it. Why bring it up now?”

“I used to think you were selfish, oblivious to others’ needs. Even now, after all this time, I think you’re often crude and insensitive.”

He looked like he was trying to figure out if I was still messing with him. “Hey now… Is there a point to this?”

 _There is, I promise_. “…I used to be like that, too. I relied too much on my own strength and stuck to myself… All I did was cause problems to the people around me.” Like Ceniro. How had he ever stayed with me during those early days? “…I think you’re like that, too… So, sometimes, I feel I’m looking at the old me. Sometimes… I treat you horribly.” Well, that wasn’t the most coherent confession, and it sidestepped most of the important stuff, but… it was true, too.

Hector chuckled. “Yeah, that’s true. Sometimes you really lay into me.” Although at this exact moment he didn’t look like he minded. Because we were friends, too, right?

“…But aboard the pirate ship that time… and just now when we set out shopping… what you said made me realize I was wrong. So… I’m sorry.”

Hector rolled his shoulders uncomfortably and I forced myself to keep looking at his face… which was also uncomfortable right now. “Look… You apologized once before. I’ll admit that I’ve got a bad attitude a lot of the time. Just… forget about it, all right? It’s not a big deal.”

He didn’t get it. Partly because I was not explaining very well, and had no intention of explaining everything, but… How was I going to forgive myself if that was all I was getting out of him!? “Forget about it?” I cried. “I can’t just forget about it! It’s not good enough somehow… I… Hit me, it’ll make me feel better!”

“What!?” Hector exclaimed. _I promise, I’m not a masochist, it’s just_ …

Ceniro was trying to get me to calm down, using the dreaded words ‘calm down’. I ignored him. “Yeah! Just do it! Come on, I won’t move.”

Hector looked away from me, ran a hand through his blue hair, sighed. “You… Hahhh…”

“What is it?” I asked. “Are you afraid? It’s not a trap, I promise.” _Just hit me and then I can feel we’re even for all the verbal abuse I’ve given you. You never deserved a bit of it._ Ceniro was trying to speak again. I shushed him. This wasn’t his problem. If we were going to be a couple, we had to solve problems together, I knew, but I would start… after this one. “Hector.”

“It’s not…” Hector began. “Give me a break, here, you think I can hit a woman?”

What? Was that his problem? “We’ve been sparring for ages! Just don’t think of me as a woman!”

“I can’t hit a woman that I…” He trailed off for no apparent reason.

“That you what?”

“Never mind!” Abruptly, he turned and began to march away rapidly, clearly more than uncomfortable with the whole thing. …Maybe I should have thought through my phrasing better before beginning everything. Ceniro would have certainly thought through his phrasing in my place. Dangit. “Let’s go find Eliwood!”

What was so important about Eliwood all of a sudden? He had Marcus and Merlinus with him, he was probably fine. “Wait! What were you going to say…?”

“It’s fine,” Ceniro said, although I noticed with some confusion he was blushing. What was going on with both of them? “He’s right, Eliwood’s been gone quite a while…”

“Sorry, were you looking for me?” Eliwood asked from behind us.

“Ah, there you are!” I said. “Hector! We found him!”

“Need me for something?” Eliwood asked mildly, looking at all of us in our various flustered states.

“Nah, just making sure you were all right,” Hector said, apparently deciding to play it cool.

I sighed and shook my head at him. “Way to make me worry for nothing!”

Hector shrugged as if it didn’t matter. “Ah well. Let’s keep moving, all right?”

I had to smile a little to myself. _I’m sorry, Hector. I just wanted to even the score between us in my mind. But you haven’t even been keeping score, have you? I guess I should let it go, too. All of it. Even the guilt over the feelings I started to feel. Because you’re happy for us, no matter what you’re feeling right now, no matter what you’re going through with your brother’s illness and suspicious absence. I won’t forget. But I will put it aside. You deserve that respect_.


	7. Don't Leave Me

### Don’t Leave Me

It was a grey, cloudy day – but every day was a grey cloudy day on the Dread Isle. We’d reached the Dragon’s Gate unchecked, and now Nergal’s last artificial army was deployed against us. Nils was back with us at last, resolving to continue on in Ninian’s name, and warning us about Limstella, Nergal’s strongest morph, who commanded this army.

I was at the head of my knights, the pegasus sisters claiming the skies above, and Nino, Jaffar, and Canas accompanying us. The air was cool but not cold. I looked at the distant black-cloaked figures of morphs and smiled my hunter’s smile. With the calm voice in my ear and the Mani Katti in my hand and my friends behind me, nothing could stop me here.

The situation was perfect. Eliwood and Hector had resolved to finish this mission without any more civilian casualties, and Ceniro and I were backing them up fully. Out here, there was only them and us. No others to protect or get in the way. All we had to do was destroy the deadly, beautiful, inhuman creatures. Not the smallest order we’d ever been given.

Ceniro had divided us into three groups to sweep through the three valleys up to the Dragon’s Gate, setting me at the head of the northernmost one. I gave him a kiss on the cheek before I left, just to see a flash of that smile again, to remind him what we were fighting for, and to promise more after the battle. Hopefully we’d have a bit of a breather to regroup before facing Nergal himself. I was a tiny bit disappointed he wasn’t coming with me, but he was going with Eliwood, who was taking the centre route. He’d be better able to oversee the entire battlefield from there.

Another few meters and we were upon the morphs. I wove around their attacks, slashing and stabbing in return, occasionally slaying one. To slay every enemy I faced wasn’t the goal, not here. But my speed drew their attention, and my sword softened them up for Wil’s follow-up shot, or Nino’s blast of Elfire, or Sain’s heavy charge. I simply moved on, blazing through their lines, the voice in my ear making me feel oddly safe and supremely confident in our victory.

We still hadn’t faced Limstella, the sensible side of my mind reminded me. These morphs were only fodder to slow us down, tire us out before we faced her – and she was only here to slow us down before we faced Nergal. And if we weren’t fast enough, Nergal might only slow us down before we had to face dragons.

But that was all right. That was why I wasn’t fighting every enemy to the death. I’d save my energy and take it out on the man – no, the monster who properly deserved it.

I sidestepped a man wielding a sword much too large for a normal person, baiting him around, getting him to turn his back on where Farina was setting up a run on him. At that moment, I heard an odd noise and a tiny grunt, and my blood turned ice-cold.

“Lady Lyndis!” Kent shouted urgently, and I recovered control over my limbs and jumped back before the giant sword crashed down upon me. Farina shot down and impaled the man and back up to the clouds.

That sound – there was only one sound like it, the sound of an arrow hitting a body full on. And Wil was facing the other way. And it had sounded in my ear.

“Ceniro?” I whispered, my hands suddenly trembling and my heart pounding in terror. What had happened? Was he injured? What if he was dead? Oh, Father Sky, if he was dead, I’d- I’d either collapse on the spot or tear the Dragon’s Gate apart with my bare hands. What should I do? What could I do?

No, we had to keep going, to keep fighting. With this bishop Renault with us, we were stronger than ever. “Ceniro?” I asked more normally. Perhaps I imagined it, it wasn’t a very loud sound, and he would ask “Yes, Lyn?” the way he always did, and everything would be fine…

But all I heard from the farseer’s magic was a confused jumble of sounds, dimmed slightly as the device deemed it irrelevant to us, but I could make out Eliwood’s voice, urgent and frightened, and then Priscilla’s voice, even quieter, also frightened. _No, no, no, no_.

“Lady Lyn?” Sain asked, riding up beside me. “Do we keep going?”

I looked up at him, swallowed, slapped myself in the face, and took a firmer grip on my sword. “Of course we do. General Wallace! Draw that wyvern rider’s attention before it attacks Nino! Uh, Canas, Fiora needs your help!” I was definitely no match for Ceniro. “…We must clear a space to regroup!”

“Aye, my lady!” Wallace cried to me, and Wil was right alongside him, ready to face the wyverns.

I heard a horrible scream and nearly jumped out of my skin. I didn’t have the luxury to be afraid right now. If Ceniro was screaming, he wasn’t dead yet, right? Teeth clenched, I prayed to Mother Earth, Father Sky, and all the spirits of Sacae that he wasn’t leaving me – us – yet. _Ceniro, don’t you dare die. I can’t- I won’t let you. Please_. “Ceniro? Eliwood?”

A few minutes later, I finished off an archer and joined my friends in a tight knot in the centre of the valley, my heart still beating fast in a way that had nothing to do with the battle. But now Eliwood’s voice sounded much calmer, soothing, and more of it was coming through. “You need to take a break.”

Ceniro’s voice, hardly audible, cracked and halting. “Th-the b-battle won’t s-stop until Limstella’s d-defeated, and th-then there’s the d-dragons to worry about…”

“You’re not in a condition to get up in either case.”

Maybe they’d hear me now. “Hey! Ceniro, are you all right? Will someone answer me?”

“Yeah,” and now I heard Hector, too. “What’s going on over there!?”

“L-L-Lyn, H-Hector-”

“Ceniro’s taken a severe injury,” Eliwood said, deliberately calm. “He’s all right now, but he’s in shock. Can you hold your sides of the battlefield for now?”

“I can do that,” Hector said at once, but I had to look at my knights first. Yes, we could hold this side for the time being. “Wait- what was that?”

“Return … magic seal,” I heard someone who might be Pent say. “Not … much use … right now.”

“Right,” Hector said decisively, but his voice was fading away, as if he were being slowly Silenced. “So, let’s…”

“Hector?” Eliwood asked of the missing voice. “Hector?”

“I need to…” Ceniro began weakly.

Whatever he thought he needed, it was probably something ridiculous, like to keep fighting when he had just almost _died_. Not that we didn’t need his commands, we needed them very much. But he had trained us well, and we could… probably… defeat most of the morphs without losing any of our friends. The fact that they had almost got _him_ chilled me to the core for many reasons, but we couldn’t stop halfway now; we’d get overwhelmed and pushed back, even I knew that. So we had to continue, keep pressing on, even without him for a little while.

What he actually needed was someone to help him recover from his shock, and while Eliwood could do that well, he also needed to be up and fighting. Sure, General Marcus could hold the centre well enough, but Eliwood was a fierce fighter and the resistance was fiercest where he was. They could use him badly. “You want me to keep leading the northern side as well, or shall I get Florina to fly me over? I can get Wallace or Kent to take over.” _Please say you need me. I want to help you. If you tell me to fight, I’ll fight, destroy those who hurt you, but you’re still alive and that’s more important_.

“Can it be Kent?” Sain asked with a side-long grin at General Wallace. Wallace huffed and shook a mailed fist at the green knight.

“I think that would be a good idea, to head over here,” Eliwood answered me. “Perhaps Florina can take Karla back north when she returns?”

Even better. If Eliwood thought he could spare her, I wouldn’t say no. Even if she was brand new to our army, had little rapport with anyone besides Bartre and Karel… and maybe Farina, she was at least my equal with the sword and could easily fill my place in that respect. I turned to Florina.

Before I said a word, she nodded, smiling, and reached down a hand to help me up.

“Go take care of our tactician, Lady Lyn!” Fiora bid me, also smiling.

Sain coughed, grinning, and Wil punched him in the leg.

“Tell him we’ll all keep doing our best, so not to worry about anything!” Nino cried, bouncing on her toes.

“I’ll tell him,” I said. “All right, Florina, let’s go!”

It took less time than I’d thought to fly over the mountains south to Eliwood and Ceniro. We didn’t need the farseer’s guidance to make it in; Eliwood’s white horse and bright blue tunic stood out against the drab fields like a sapphire against mud. He was kneeling, holding a small, shivering bundle wrapped in several layers of cloaks, including Eliwood’s own. Florina touched down nearby and I was down, forgetting even to thank her in my haste, running to his side. “How is he?”

Ceniro hiccuped twice and I put my arms around him, holding him tightly. I could see tear marks down his face, white against the dirt of travel. I wondered where exactly he’d been shot, but I wasn’t going to ask right now. Eliwood finally let go of him and stood. “He’ll be all right. I’m going to go back to fighting.” _Good. Go kick their sorry behinds for me. For us_. “With Marcus, we’ll handle the tactics for this valley. Don’t even let him touch the farseer until he’s recovered some more.”

We were in perfect accord on that. “I can do that.”

Ceniro struggled a little. “W-wait. J-just a moment. If th-there’s a magic seal to the s-south, H-Hector will p-probably send the mages n-north. We sh-should send some f-fighters s-south to help.”

“I can do that,” Eliwood said to him. “I’ll tell them to keep an eye out for the magic users and protect them until they can defend themselves again, and then go help Hector directly. Will that work?”

“Y-yes.” He struggled some more until one arm was free and pointed at the farseer. “Th-they should be… well… S-sort of around here was where they were wh-when I l-last checked.”

“Understood,” Eliwood said with a strong smile, the smile that let everyone know it was going to be all right. “Leave it to me.”

Left alone, I squeezed Ceniro a little through all the cloaks and put his head on my shoulder, patting his hair. It felt inadequate, and now that I was here I wanted to be off fighting again, but I took some deep breaths and felt the edge start to come off my adrenaline. He didn’t need me jittering all over him, or worse, crying all over him. That would just make things worse. This wasn’t my time to go to pieces. Maybe after Nergal was dead. Or tomorrow. Or whenever we made it back to Lycia, possibly specifically Caelin. But not now.

“I-I’m s-sorry,” he stammered.

“Don’t be,” I said, squeezing him again. “It’s not your fault.”

“Th-then whose f-fault is it?” he demanded, trying to sit up again. He was bringing the hysteria back, and his face was beginning to crumple. His whole body was shaking violently. “I j-just want t-to…”

I let out another deep breath, schooling my face to its very most serene expression. If it was helping me, probably it would help him? “Ceniro. Take some deep breaths. We’re going to do some Sacaean meditation, all right?” Thank goodness I vaguely remembered what Elder Nita had taught me long ago…

“O-okay…”

A burst of orders from Eliwood came through the farseer. “And turn the sound on that thing off,” I told him. I had no idea how to do it or I’d do it myself. “It’s only going to distract you and make you tense up again.” He obeyed. “Come here. Focus on me. Breathe in… Breathe out.”

My voice turned into a quiet chant, eventually slipping into the Sacaean words as I remembered them, and I held his hands as we knelt in front of each other, facing each other. My eyes were closed and when I opened mine, his were closed as well. Good. His tears had stopped and his hicupping was on the way to stopping. He just looked very tired now. I was much calmer now too, and it was easier for me to keep a strong face on now that my heart wasn’t trying to escape my chest.

He opened those beautiful eyes and looked at me. “I think I’ll be okay now.”

I looked at him firmly. “If you’re sure. You still have to take it easy until we find an occasion to sleep.”

“I don’t know if we have that luxury,” he said, looking away towards the north-east where the Dragon’s Gate lay.

I frowned at him until he met my eyes. “I know your giant brain is going to keep going, but I need you to stress about it less. We all do, but I do most of all. No one thinks less of you for taking a wound in battle. In fact, I’m pretty sure half of them are going to congratulate you on it.”

He shuffled self-consciously. “Well… it’s not the first one I’ve had, even for me.”

Really? Now I was curious. He hadn’t been wounded hardly at all during the times I was with him. That time he got axed in the knee, perhaps? …If I took off his tunic, what would I see? …But it wasn’t important. “That doesn’t matter.”

“Can I turn the farseer back on yet?” he asked, looking at it. He wasn’t going to be satisfied until he was involved, was he? “All right, I’ll risk it,” I told him, crossing my arms skeptically. If he showed too much sign of cracking again, I was taking it back.

“Eliwood?” What’s the situation?”

“You sound much better. So I would say the situation is good.” I would agree that it was getting better, although maybe not _good_ yet… but Eliwood had a better head for battles than me, and was actually fighting. I guess I could believe him. “Actually, Hector managed to defeat the magic seal once and for all.”

“Thanks for sending those fighters our way,” Hector said. “Really made a difference.”

“What about up north?” Ceniro asked, which I was also eager to learn.

“Enemies are mostly neutralized,” I heard Kent say, and I smiled at his customary formality. Even though he was quite good friends with Ceniro, he was always so proper in reporting. “Not very elegantly, but neutralized nonetheless. No casualties.” If there had been casualties, he would have said so first, so I had not been afraid of any.

“There’s only a handful of enemies, I think, clustered around the Dragon’s Gate ruins, and of course Limstella,” Nils said. “But you knew that, didn’t you?”

“I wanted to get your opinions as well as the contextless facts that the farseer presents me with,” Ceniro said. If it had been anyone else, that would have sounded pompous. But, in that voice, tired but steadier, those words just sounded matter-of-fact… and that he didn’t have the energy to be concise. “I’m… not going to say very much for a while. Lyn’s orders.” _Damn straight_. “Carry on. If I have ideas, I’ll tell you.”

“Will do,” Hector said. “Take it easy, buddy.”

He turned the volume down, though not off – was there even an off button? I felt like there wasn’t, especially not with the way it had interrupted us that night in Bern. He sat there a moment and sighed, then turned melancholy eyes and a slight pout on me. “I feel guilty.”

“Why?” I said. “You think Wil felt any less guilty when he had to be taken to the back at Castle Ostia, no matter that he saved Rebecca’s life?” _It’s… normal, I think. Move past it. I’ll help you_.

“Right.” The corners of his mouth twitched up into a shaky smile. “It’s not about my ego. It’s about keeping everyone alive. Including me. And if I try to take charge while I’m not ready, I’m endangering everyone.”

 _Bravo!_ “That’s useful logic,” I said aloud. “Let’s walk in the direction of the Dragon’s Gate. How do you feel about that?”

“Kinda shaky.” Always so honest. “But I can manage walking, I think.”

“Up you get.” I got to my feet and helped pull him to his, helping keep the cloaks over his shoulders. How many did he have right now!? Three? Well, that had probably been necessary, between the shock and the cool air of the Dread Isle. I was starting to get cold myself, my sweat a clammy layer over my skin.

Eliwood probably wouldn’t have left any enemies behind him, but I surreptitiously checked my sword anyway, just in case something popped out at us. If something did pop out at us, the first thing was to knock Ceniro down so he didn’t get shot again. Or drag him out of the way if it was a mounted unit, or flying unit, or magical unit. I wasn’t losing him here, right under my nose.

“Hey, can I have one of those?” I asked, tugging at Eliwood’s cloak. I was getting goosebumps on my arms.

“Oh, yes, of course, you must be cold right now.” He shrugged it off, still a little awkward, and handed it to me. I wrapped it around my shoulders twice and took his hand again. Eliwood’s cloak was rather too long for me to just have on once, and it had been too long for Ceniro as well – Eliwood was tall, and… neither of us were tall. Oh well.

“Nino said not to worry about them,” I said. “She said they’d do their best.”

“I know they will,” he said. “She’s grown so much since we adopted her into the group, hasn’t she?”

“We all have, but probably her most of all,” I said. “It’s like Fiora said, how strong we’ve become. Remember how weak I used to be, when we first met? Normal life will be far too easy after this.”

He quirked a smile. “You were never weak… I think ‘normal’ life will have its own challenges. I don’t think it will be boring.”

“Not with me around,” I said, giving him a pert smile. “I can make sure of that.”

He smiled a real smile then, and squeezed my hand tightly.

Nergal awaited us in the Dragon’s Gate, as mad and full of hatred as ever. He tried to hurt us with his words, tried to hurt us by turning the good people of the Black Fang into morphs, tried to send us into despair to make us easy prey.

I wasn’t having any of it. I’d left Ceniro safely outside, and now it was up to Eliwood, Hector, and me, and our most powerful companions, to see this through. I’d give it my all. The man I loved had been saved from death; I’d fight my hardest to keep it that way. He helped us through the fight with the morphs, and was quiet again now, resting, I hoped. We didn’t need a ton of strategy to take down Nergal. I hoped. …He was only one man, no matter how powerful.

Eliwood and Hector had no significant other to fight for – Ninian was dead, and Hector didn’t have anyone especially dear to him in the army at present. Even his brother was gone, Nergal told us – and Hector confirmed it. But they could fight for each other, for the friendship they’d shared for at least a decade and a half.

The Sol Katti blazed brighter than the Mani Katti ever had as we charged towards Nergal. I gave an extra bound as we were upon him, jumping onto Hector’s shoulders and falling on Nergal from above, channeling all my strength into my strike. “You’ve made your last mistake!” Something Ceniro might have said, perhaps, if he was in a cocky mood…

“Death feeds me. Death pleases me. I am the essence I consume.” Nergal cackled and spread his arms wide, his black robe opening like a gate into the abyss in front of us. “You fools will become corpses here, because I wish it to be.”

It wasn’t the abyss of the afterlife opening in front of us… but it was a black magic spell! I was falling into it, there was no way to stop it, my strike would never strike true-

The pain was like nothing I could describe. Like every nerve in my body was dissolving, and all I could do was fall further into oblivion.

_Ceniro…_

I could hardly form coherent thoughts, but thinking of him, even in the midst of all this, gave me strength. _I can weather this._

_**How?** _

_Because if I don’t, Nergal will come use it on him. He can’t ever experience this. I won’t allow it._

_**That’s not how, Lyn.** _

_Doesn’t matter. You’re not some weak little girl anymore. You can take this. You can take whatever this madman dishes out and get right back up and stab the rotting hole where his heart might have been once._

_**Look, you’re so delirious with pain you’re talking to yourself. How are you going to stab anything?** _

I didn’t have an answer for my internal monologue; I think I was on the verge of passing out. _Just hang in there. He needs you to_.

Suddenly, the pain eased, then vanished. I cracked open my eyes to see I was now lying on the edge of the room, far away from where I’d been mere moments…? ago. I was huddled into myself protectively and I clambered to my feet as fast as I could, my limbs shaking a little, and I had to turn away as Lord Athos’s spell exploded over Nergal.

When the explosion had cleared, so had my vision and the shaking in my limbs, and I darted forward. Eliwood was closer and beat me to it, but my nodachi struck true this time, leaving a black, bloody mark on Nergal’s already black robes.

Nergal began to cast his doomspell again. _Stab him, stab him, stab him!_ Hector was there, Eliwood was there, we were all in haste to prevent that spell from being used again.

He staggered.

That wasn’t the end of it. Nergal was dead, but the Dragon’s Gate had been opened. On the bright side, so bright it hurt to look at, metaphorically speaking, Ninian was alive again, truly alive, I didn’t know how, and I didn’t actually care too much.

Ninian had destroyed two dragons, but a third still remained, just inside the Gate, weakened from her ice spell, but recovering and turning its attention to us… to attack us.

“Any advice?” I said quietly to the side.

“Don’t die?” Ceniro said in my ear. He sounded gratifyingly calm. It was probably he was just tired. I was definitely not calm.

“Not part of my plan, certainly,” I quipped back, fighting back a manic grin. It was entirely possible we could all _die_ here, and I was _tired_ , and banter was _funny_. _By all of Mother Earth’s furies, let’s get this over with before I go mad_.

“I have some ideas,” he said, and sent us into a new formation.

My mental health might have been waning, but my determination never did, my thoughts almost annoyingly repetitive. _If I die here, Ceniro dies. That can’t happen. Nergal was only the beginning. This is the true fight_.

If I had my way, he would never be threatened by violent death. He would never be wounded again, never feel the sickening panic at the reflexive knowledge of incoming pain. Unrealistic, I knew all too well, especially in his line of work. He might be on the front lines less than the rest of us, but today had shown me too clearly that he was as vulnerable as any of us.

But while we were aiming for the stars in the sky, if he was going to keep everyone he knew alive, I was going to keep him alive and in one piece. _This I swear by this dragon’s blood_.

The dragon died to Eliwood’s blade, terrifying power bursting from his attack. Slowly, we relaxed. I wanted to rush away immediately to Ceniro’s side, but we had lost Lord Athos – not entirely, but he was dying in Hector’s arms. He made a prophecy that I would never forget, but told us to have hope, before he died.

Ninian was to stay. Nils was to go. I hugged him, and he let me, and even hugged me back a little.

We stayed until he could be seen no more, until the light of the Gate faded… and then I began to run, back towards the mouth of the Dragon’s Gate, back to the cloudy daylight and Ceniro. Hector was behind me, clanking away in his heavy armour. I supposed he didn’t want to stay another minute in this place either.

I flung myself at Ceniro and his arms were around me tightly. He was real, he was alive, his heart was beating and he was breathing and he was starting to cry again with his face in my shoulder and maybe so was I, and we would never be parted while it was remotely in my power to prevent it, never, ever, ever.


	8. Stay With Me

### Stay With Me

Home! Home, home, home. Endless plains of grass, green and brown and yellow, with the occasional prickly thicket of brush and scrub. Gently rolling hills as far as the eye could see, vast blue sky arching over us, the summer sun burning down on us. The scent of the wind on my face! Ah, I was so happy!

I wasn’t sure whether to jump for joy, tackle my lover, or fall to the ground and roll around in the grass a lot. Maybe all three. Possibly at the same time.

I felt his eyes on me and turned to look at him, grinning my face off. “I’m home!”

“Yes, you are,” he said, responding to my smile.

I leaned over and kissed him quickly, then went skipping off in the direction we were traveling. We’d stop in at Bulgar to get resources, and then begin our plan of attempting to make a life here, at least for a while, without grand quests looming over us. Just to take things slow for a while, and rest after all the excitement of the early summer.

Both were hard to believe – first, that I was home finally, after almost a year and a half, and secondly, that Ceniro had agreed to come with me, to stay with me for a while. “After all, it’s not like you sit in one place all the time,” he had said, and I agreed. His wanderlust wouldn’t be completely starved. Although I hoped he didn’t get bored of it. I could never get bored of Sacae, but to someone not raised there, I could see how it might get a bit the same all the time.

We’d parted from Hector and Eliwood in Badon, although not before they threw a big party that had the whole town talking. Ceniro almost refused payment, but both of them insisted. Eventually he relented but had them send almost all the promised money to his parents. He was so thoughtful! Even if he wasn’t going to visit them. He was almost as bad as Wil in that respect…

After Badon, we went to Caelin with the Caelin knights, where my grandfather was almost recovered, and certainly beginning to be publicly busy again. We stayed a week to visit, then left them all to continue to Sacae. My grandfather wanted me to take Kent and Sain again, and Florina and Wil and Fiora would gladly have come, and Wallace almost came along anyway, but I really wanted this just to be our time, for Ceniro and me.

So after a week, we set off by ourselves, unafraid of bandits. Grandfather gave us horses, although Ceniro designated his as the pack horse and kept walking. It made things slower, but he didn’t mind if I galloped out in front and back again, trading horses occasionally to give them both exercise. He still had the farseer, he could watch over us both and talk to me even when I was a little ahead of him.

And sometimes I did join him in walking. I had learned a bit how to appreciate the landscape while traveling with him before, but now that it was just the two of us, he was more talkative than when we were in a group, and I learned much more than before. He pointed out more things, and I saw just how nothing ever got past him, even if it was just an interesting tree or a distant castle. And I loved how alight his face was, even if it was subtle, just slightly brighter than his usual placid look.

We were lucky on this journey; no bandits threatened us, though we passed through North Bern as we had done before. When we made it into Sacae, I stopped at the shrine where the Mani Katti had lived, and placed the Sol Katti there. It was too strong for me to use on bandits, especially after Lord Athos had beefed it up with holy magic. I was sure Eliwood and Hector would be locking Durandal and Armads away right away, especially Eliwood.

In Bulgar, we bought a small ger, with money Grandfather had also given me, and loaded it onto Ceniro’s horse. We traveled west a few days before deciding the spot we’d found, on a little hill near a stream, was good enough. I didn’t see any trace of other tribes around, or bandits either, and to my knowledge, we weren’t close to any of the traditional hunting or grazing grounds of the big tribes.

I wondered what had happened to the land traditionally claimed by the Lorca. I wondered what had happened to the other survivors. It wasn’t the time to try to build a new clan, we had only just arrived, but that little seed of a dream remained in my heart, as it had ever since I’d woken up to find my parents dead.

I tried not to let it get me down, especially since I was showing Ceniro how to put up the ger.

“And you did this all by yourself for a while?” he asked, puffing and blowing under the hot sun. The roof poles were all finally up; now we needed to put on the felt covering and the canvas outer cover, and tie it all down so it didn’t blow off again. We’d been working for an hour already, and there was still an hour’s work left to go.

“I didn’t move as often on my own,” I told him. “The crown was a bit of an issue, but I managed. We’ll probably move in a couple weeks, before the animals get too wary of my bow.”

“And we have to do this all over again, but backwards?”

I arched an eyebrow at him. “Are you suggesting you’d rather sleep on the bare ground, under the open sky, for the rest of the summer?”

He turned a bit red. “No… but a tent would be easier.”

“And much less comfortable,” I pointed out. “This will be proper living, not just camping.”

He blushed some more and looked away awkwardly. “Sorry.”

I was confused and tilted my head at him, eyes wide. “Hm? For what?”

“I shouldn’t… That is, I’m used to… I mean…”

“You’re not used to how Sacaeans live,” I said, and he nodded sheepishly. “That’s fine. That’s why I’m going to show you. I’m not mad.” I looked at the ger frame. “But seriously, we’ve been living out of tents for at least two months, and I’d been living in a castle for a year before that. It’s time to live like a normal person again.”

He chuckled a little. “I look forward to learning what your normal is.”

“Good,” I said, a little shortly, and reached for the bundle of felt. “Take this end here.”

He was looking rather pleased with himself by the time we finished building it. “That was all right, wasn’t it?”

“You did well for your first time,” I praised him. “I think it’s definitely time for dinner.”

“When I first met you, you had a fire inside.”

I raised both eyebrows at him. “I did, did I? And how about now?”

He blushed and laughed. “I meant, inside the ger. Your inner fire is always burning bright.”

“Yes, I did. I’m actually surprised you remember. I’ll get that set up. You spread the rugs around the firepit.”

“I will, but I’m also almost as hungry as when we met.”

“Just give me a moment, ravenous man.” I swatted him.

We ate, our first meal together in our first real home together. It was almost like we were already married. But we weren’t. Which was fine, but we hadn’t talked about it yet. We should probably do that. But there were other things I wanted to talk about first, less scary things.

We were sipping tea after dinner, watching the light lengthen across the plains from our front door when actually he brought up the first topic himself. “So we’re just going to see how this goes for a while, hmm?”

“Right,” I said. “I know we ought to talk about lots of important, responsible things that don’t have to do with fighting or logistics, but I… I don’t really know how to start.”

“Our past conversations have tended towards simpler things,” he agreed, maybe a little sardonic. “And I’m sorry again about saying stupid things this afternoon.”

He’d been worrying about that? “Don’t trouble yourself over it,” I said. “Like I said, I forgive you.” _I’m just happy you’re here with me. Even if I’m being uncomfortably snappy for some reason_.

“Yes, but I feel… I’m just a dumb Lycian…”

“Shh,” I shushed him sharply. “You’re far from dumb, silly. I figured you don’t know a whole lot about my people, even if you respect them. Which I’m grateful for, by the way.” I made an effort to soften my voice and it seemed to work.

He lowered his gaze. “It’s important. I’m not trying to romanticize your people either. I just want to treat them like every other person I meet.”

“I wish everyone was like you,” I sighed. “It would make life so much easier. And more interesting.”

“Don’t you mean less interesting?” he asked, wrinkling his brow at me dubiously.

“I know what I said,” I said. “Anyway, I want to show you everything, and if you don’t ask questions, even stupid ones, you might miss something.”

“All right. I’ll try not to let my ego get in the way.”

I didn’t answer him for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts for the next thing. “And… I… hope that it’s interesting enough that you won’t ditch me to go traveling again for a while…”

He looked at me in surprise. “Of course it is. Besides, you think I’m going to leave a wonderful person like you after we came all this way together?”

I twisted my fingers together under the tea bowl. “You left me before.” I sounded whiny even to my own ears.

“Yes, and I learned many things on that journey, but I was a fool. I wouldn’t do it again. Never.”

I glanced at him sidelong, anxiously. “Never ever?”

“Never. Well…” he hesitated, his need for absolute precision winning out. “There might be desperately dire circumstances where I can’t be close to your side, but I don’t _want_ to leave you again.”

“Even if we stay in Sacae forever?” Now I was just being petty. Why could I not stop my temper tonight? It was embarrassing. Was it nerves? Tiredness? Was it my time of the month soon?

He smiled shyly at me. “I imagine just as you’re going to show Sacae to me, you’d occasionally let me show the rest of the world to you.”

“That is true,” I said, and laughed a little nervously. “That’s really reassuring. Thanks.”

He reached out to take my hand and squeezed it. “I love you. I want to face life with you. I want you to show me your culture; you already know mine. You’re beautiful, Lyn, in every way. I’m so lucky to be here with you.”

I blushed, pulling my hand away again. All my crankiness today, and he was so patient with me, patient, but with his own inner strength, a quiet confidence that made me want to throw myself at him. “I love you too,” I said, forcing myself to look him in the eye. _Come on, Lyn, you’ve made out with him passionately. Saying your true feelings should be a piece of cake after that_. “You’re always there for me…”

“When I’m around…”

“Which is going to be from now on, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

“And you’re patient and kind with everyone but especially me and my hotheadedness. You were even prepared to give me up for some bizarre reason.”

“That was a mistake, too,” he said, dropping his gaze from my eye. “I said it would be fine then, but I don’t think I would have been able to bear it if you actually did it.”

“Will you stop interrupting me, please?” I said, and he shut his lips tightly, sucking on his lower lip, his eyes flicking up to me a bit nervously. Spirits, that was adorable. “I’m trying to say you’re a good man, Ceniro of Santaruz, and I want to be with you as long as you want to be with me. It might be difficult sometimes, with our cultures and personalities, but it’s completely worth it.”

He relaxed a little and smiled. “Um. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I said, awkwardly. “And I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting today. I don’t know what it is.”

“Nerves?” he asked. “This is the first time we’ve been properly alone.”

I made as if to throw my empty tea bowl at him and he ducked. His reflexes weren’t terrible… “I’m not nervous because of that!”

“That wasn’t what I wanted to imply anyway!” He was still covering his head, but he looked at me again. “We’re not married yet.”

“Yes. Is that all right with you?”

“I was going to ask if it was all right with you.”

“Just to live together for a while without trying to make life more complicated?” I asked. “That’s fine with me. I want to marry you someday. But it doesn’t have to be right now. And getting too physical… risking children… it’s better to save these things, I think.”

He relaxed again and put his arms down. “Wow, that was just what I was thinking.”

“Is it really?” I asked anxiously.

He nodded. “I worried you might want to get married right away. I want to marry you, too, but this isn’t the right time.”

“We still haven’t known each other for very long.”

“Exactly.”

“And we just came back from a big, distracting, dramatic quest.”

“Which brought us closer together and made certain things clear, but yes, exactly.”

I nodded decisively. “But I would still like to kiss you occasionally.”

He laughed. “I think we can allow that. I desperately want to kiss you.”

I picked up the tea bowls. “I want to show you something first.”

“Isn’t that a bit soon?” he asked facetiously, and I did throw a tea bowl at him. It bounced off his shoulder. “Ow! I was joking!”

I ignored him and went back inside, to where I’d thrown my saddlebag. He must be feeling very comfortable with me if he joked like that, but with what I was going to show him, it was kind of… not nice.

He followed me in. “Sorry, Lyn.”

“I’ll forgive you for that too,” I said, recovering my equilibrium. I pulled a bundle of cloth out of my bag and handed it to him. “I got you this in Bulgar. I saw your tunic was wearing a bit thin around the elbows and such, and I thought… well, maybe you wouldn’t mind this?”

He unfolded it, and his face was lit up with surprise. Pleased surprise?

“This is what Sacaean people wear, isn’t it? Not what Rath and Guy wear, or even what Karel wears, but I’ve seen people wearing it.”

“It’s called a deel,” I told him. “Is it… Is it all right?”

He turned it around. “Of course it’s all right. It looks comfortable. Bit warm, maybe?”

“Less in summer than you might think. You’ll need a heavier one for winter, though.” _Try it on, I want to see how you look in it. You’ll never look Sacaean, with your eyes and hair and skin, but I think it will look good on you_.

“I guess I should try it on, huh?” He moved away from me and turned his back to me, fiddling with the buttons of his tunic.

I’d seen him with his shirt off before, early in the morning when he was crawling groggily out of the tent he shared with Wil and Guy, but if he wanted some privacy, I’d give it to him. Unless he couldn’t figure out how to put it on, but that wasn’t likely – they were the easiest things to wear. A hook at the collar, loop buttons at the shoulder, and the sash to hold it all at the waist. “The sash is right there. I’ll be outside.” I stepped outside and let the curtain door down behind me.

It only took him a minute or two, and then he stepped out into the sunset to join me.

I looked at him and smiled. As I thought, it looked great on him. It actually suited him really well. A rich burgundy colour, embroidered with grey-blue and black-blue and gold, down to his ankles, with a grey-blue sash. I’d need to get him some new boots next. “It looks good.” He was very handsome in this light. I was going to kiss him pretty soon, and from the way he was staring at me, he was thinking the same thing.

There was something I had to say first. “I have to warn you – if a Sacaean person sees you in this, they might not understand right away. They might not understand that you’re with me. They… They might be a bit racist, actually… and think you don’t take our culture seriously.”

He frowned a little. “But you want me to wear it, right?”

“I do. I think it suits you, and it’s part of what I want to show you about my life here. I just want to warn you what might happen.”

“Then I’ll wear it. It’s comfortable. And you want me to.” He smiled a little. “My family would have a fit if they knew I was giving up perfectly good Lycian fashions.”

“Well, they’re not going to know for a while, I guess.”

“No.”

We looked at each other for a while. Despite the randomness of our conversation, my heart was beating fast in my chest. “Um…”

“Lyn…” His voice was so soft.

He reached for me as I stepped towards him, and I was in his arms, my hands in his hair, pressing myself tightly against him. The wool of his new deel was soft under my fingers. His mouth was warm and firm on mine, not too gentle, not too rough.

We broke apart, breathing a little harder. “Let’s go inside,” he suggested, his voice even softer, and I nodded. He held back the curtain for me and followed me in closely, one arm still around my waist.

I’d made it almost to the centre of the ger, where we could stand straight again, when he wrapped both arms around me, holding me close against him. “I love you,” he whispered in my ear, and kissed my cheek.

Well, I wasn’t going to let him do all the kissing! I struggled until he released me enough that I could turn around and attack his face again. His tongue was against mine and it was as if Elfire had been cast in my chest, shooting right down to my groin. I moaned into his mouth and he sighed into mine. My breasts were pressed against him. That was okay, wasn’t it? They were kind of large, compared to most of the other women in the army. Maybe he liked large?

I took a step backwards and tripped over my saddlebag, starting to fall backwards. He caught me, but instead of pulling me back upright, lowered me gently to the ground, leaning over me.

“We haven’t unrolled the futons yet,” I panted.

“That’s fine,” he said, kissing me again.

Part of me panicked a little. _We said we weren’t going to do this yet!_

 _No,_ I told that part of me. _It’s Ceniro. I trust him. And if he tries anything, I can take him down and kick him out of the ger. But he won’t try anything_.

He didn’t try anything. His hands were still in mostly-respectable places, his tongue was still deeply in my mouth, and his slight weight was slowly settling onto me – _yessss, more of that, please… Just a little couldn’t hurt, anyway…_

His kisses began wandering all over the rest of my face, evading my attempts to kiss him back, not that I tried too hard. Aimlessly, tenderly, a little unsure of himself still… He brushed a spot just under my jaw and I gasped.

He drew back. “Was that all right?”

“Yes,” I said firmly. “That is a good spot.”

He bent his head again to investigate more. He was very methodical about it, and I stifled a giggle at the thought that he was analyzing me, planning out his kisses as carefully as he planned his battle strategies.

Eventually he pulled back, breathing hard, hair disheveled, lovely grey eyes shining. “We should… probably stop for the night.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, a little reluctant, but it was a good idea. Too much more of this and our careful plans would be for naught. Maybe we should just stick to hugging and holding and the occasional, less-passionate kiss. We had lots of time ahead of us, after all.

We unrolled the futons and I sent him outside while I changed into my lighter sleeping kimono and let my hair down.

He looked a little uncomfortable when he came back in, after he finished staring at my hair. “Um… should I sleep in this?”

“If you want to, though most people don’t,” I said.

“Then in what…”

I looked straight at him. “You’re not embarrassed about being shirtless in front of me, are you? I’ve seen you shirtless before.”

His eyes went wide. “You have?”

“Is it a big deal?”

He hung his head. “I guess not.” He pulled the sash off and picked the loops open. I knelt closer to him and undid the collar hook, helping him pull it off. He was blushing like crazy all the while.

His body was pale, smooth and skinny, relatively hairless. There was an angry red mark in the centre of his chest, just above his abdomen. “What’s this?”

He looked down and his blush faded, along with his bashful smile. “That’s where I got shot on the Dread Isle.” His voice was very quiet, very serious.

I looked into his eyes seriously, then carefully leaned forward and kissed the spot gently. “I wish I’d been there to protect you.”

“I wish I’d been paying enough attention to dodge.”

“That, too.” I was looking around his body for more scars, and there were a few, some on his arms, his shoulders, most of them very old. I knew there was one on his knee under his pants, as well. And across his throat, usually hidden by the high collars he wore, so faint in the dim light I almost missed it… “Did you get hit here too?”

He shivered as I reached out to touch it, but I had the idea it was less from desire and more from painful memories. “Yes.” His voice was a mere whisper, small and frightened.

I wanted to cry for him. Which was silly. It had all happened in the past, and I was here now, and I’d protect him from anything else that happened. I’d sworn it on the dragon. But that looked like a deathblow. How was he still alive? Twice, at least, he had cheated death by the narrowest of margins. “I’m sorry.” It seemed so inadequate.

Suddenly he reached out and pulled me to rest against him, my head on his shoulder, my hair cascading down his arm. “It’s all right.”

“You’re safe now. I won’t let anything like that happen again.”

“I know. And I’ll keep you safe, too.”

“Good.”

We held each other for a while, comforting each other against the somber mood that had grown around his scars. I was glad he couldn’t see most of mine. Someday I’d show him. But not tonight. Not just because I’d have to take my kimono off, and it was definitely not time for that, but… I didn’t want to be that vulnerable so soon, even though none of mine were quite as bad as those two of his. No wonder he’d hesitated.

Someday. I trusted him, but it wasn’t the right time.

“Well,” I said briskly at last, “you did actually get ready for bed, and I’m sure you’re tired, so you’d better sleep now.”

He managed a little smile. “Yeah. And it’s not so strange already, you… seeing me. You don’t mind my… skinniness?”

 _Compared to who? Hector? Hector’s not in the picture anymore._ “You’re the way you are. I actually kind of like it.” _If you were big and buff like Hector, you wouldn’t be you anymore. That’s more important than having the most attractive body in Elibe_.

He peered at me. “You’re sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.” I put my hands on my hips. “Would I say it if I wasn’t sure?”

“I guess not.” He managed a slightly larger smile, followed by a yawn. “I guess I’m pretty tired. We learned a lot about each other today, huh?”

“Yes, we did,” I said cheerfully, and held out a blanket for him. “Come on, into bed, quick quick.”

“Yes, my lady,” he teased, and let me cover him with the blanket, even though I almost hit him again.

“None of that,” I scolded him, and he laughed.

He fell asleep quickly; it had been a long, strange day for him, with the building of the ger and all. I was awake a little longer, watching him until the light faded into complete blackness.

_I do want to spend the rest of my life with him. There’s no one better for me. No one else I trust more. Not just with my life, but with my feelings, my hopes and dreams, my values. And I know he feels the same about me, which is the very best part. I know, he’ll never leave me. He’ll stay with me always, and we’ll hold our trust, our love, as the most sacred of bonds._

_Even if it’s going to be a little difficult not jumping his scrawny bones just yet_.


	9. Fight With Me

### Fight With Me

It was a stupid fight. It was incredibly stupid and it shouldn’t have ended how it did. Something about who was supposed to have washed the pots from dinner last night? Ceniro was actually kind of lazy, and I was sure it was his turn, but he denied it. “I did them the night before, remember?”

“You’re imagining things,” I said. “I did them last night. Just do them, they won’t take that long.” If he suggested that I ought to do them because cleaning was women’s work – a thought I’d heard far too often in Caelin – I would hit him. But he hadn’t ever said that yet.

“No, I’m sure I did them. I do them a lot.”

“Because I do most of the cooking,” I snapped. “Get off your lazy Lycian butt and be useful.” I had enough to deal with actually making the food.

He flushed. “Lycian butts can be just as useful as any other butts.”

“Well, apparently yours isn’t for anything besides tactics.”

“I told you that when we met,” he said, folding his arms and frowning. He wasn’t going to wash those pots, was he!? I couldn’t start until he did!

“And you think that’s a good excuse to be lazy under my roof?”

“I thought it was our roof.”

“Then do the damn dishes!”

He threw his arms in the air and went to get the first pot. “Why is it such a big deal!?”

“By the Spirits, you think I want to do extra work? I’ve done them for you before and I’m not doing them this time.”

“Why don’t you get the Spirits to do them?” he muttered.

I paused in the middle of getting down the choy and jerky. “Excuse me!?” I was so not in the mood for this. “This is how it’s done in Sacae. You want to keep being an emaciated ragged vagabond!? Go ahead! Apparently that’s all you can do when not pulling impossible victories out of thin air!”

He didn’t yell. He never yelled. But I could hear the frustration in his voice as plain as day as he tried to claw the argument back towards safer ground. “That’s another thing. Lyn… I’m trying, all right? But you’re not making it easy for me! I know you love it here, but ever since you got back it’s been ‘Sacae this’ and ‘Sacae that’ and I need a break.”

Oh. That… was a good point. But my temper was still running hot and his complaint didn’t address _my_ complaint. “Apparently you need a break from working like a normal person, too.”

He put the pot back down and folded his arms again huffily. “Maybe I do!”

“Is that why you’ve been a clam the last week? You don’t feel like being affectionate like a normal person? Too much Sacae here in Sacae for you?” My hands were on my hips and I knew there was lightning in my eyes.

“Oh, then is that why _you’ve_ been all up in my face smothering me? If you’d just let me have two minutes alone, maybe I could- but you just keep pushing me and pulling me like an attention-seeking child!”

That did it! “Argh!” I whirled and began to stomp away. His face melted into an expression of consternation, and he took two quick steps after me and grabbed at my wrist.

“Lyn, pl-”

I reflexively broke free and spun, punching him square in the chest. He grunted and fell heavily on his backside.

“And another thing!” I yelled. “Learn to fight! My boyfriend shouldn’t be so much weaker than me that I can just knock you down with one blow!”

He flinched as he sat up. “I… Lyn…”

I ran, fury and guilt fueling every step. I whistled for my horse, swung astride, and galloped out across the plains.

I didn’t stop riding for an hour. Ceniro might try talking to me through the farseer and I needed time to think first.

To think things over, now that I’d already done the damage. Now that I’d already hurt him, maybe destroyed our ever-fragile relationship. Why could I never think things through first?

I dismounted by the stream and let out a long, frustrated yell. “Aaaauuuuuugh!” And slumped on my bum beside my horse. “What… just happened?” My hands were shaking, but no longer with anger. How could I have said that to him? He was doing his best. But then he did _that_ , and he said _that_ , and suddenly I just wanted to make him angry, to affect him like he was affecting me, to show him the pain I was in. He was right. I was being a child.

I began to sniffle, tears gathering painfully in the corners of my eyes. That was also childish! I was the daughter of Hassar, chieftain of the Lorca, I didn’t cry over a fight with a man. …But I was so confused, and guilty, and still a little angry, but I wanted to stab myself for saying the things I’d said. Crying was better than suicide. Probably.

We’d been living together a month, and things had been going so well… mostly… hadn’t they? It had been perfect at first. We’d walk together on the fields every day, and it was fortunate that neither of us minded the heat and the sunlight or walking long distances. He wasn’t that good at cooking so I made most of the food, and he did seem to like what I made. I’d practice my sword forms every day for several hours – couldn’t get out of shape or lose my edge just because I was being domestic. He watched, or studied his farseer or read one of the two books he had, or wrote in his journal.

The days had gotten longer and longer as time went on, though, and I couldn’t tell why. My chatter couldn’t fill up his silences enough. He withdrew more from me. The hand holding and kisses became less frequent, and not just because we were being careful not to go too far.

I still loved him, right?

Yes, I did. He was still him, even if everything had gone strange and wrong. I wasn’t imagining it. I still wanted to kiss his boyish face. I still wanted to be with him, to see his smile, to show him everything, to be shown the things he loved, to be near that quiet brilliance as much as I could. Even if there wasn’t much chance here for him to show that brilliance, the intensity that I adored that only came out under pressure. We worked so well together on the march, on the battlefield, but there were no battlefields here, and that was what we wanted, wasn’t it? Of course it was what we wanted, that everyone could have peace. But I was too impatient. I wanted him to assimilate into my life _now_. I’d given no thought to what he wanted, assuming he would go along with it as he always had.

And now my impatience had exploded in his face like a Shine spell. In both our faces. His words kept echoing in my ears until they rang. “But you just keep pushing me and pulling me like an attention-seeking child!” I covered my ears with my hands and yelled to keep his voice out.

If I went back to the ger, would he be there? It was all too easy to imagine him packing up his few possessions and leaving. He could be long gone by the time I got back, and I’d never find him again.

And all because of a stupid argument.

I finally put my head down and cried.

I’d been sitting there for at least two hours, crying and thinking and crying some more, when my horse’s ears swiveled around and I felt hoofbeats through the ground. The horse who was making them was coming towards me at a steady walk, an unthreatening sound.

I scrambled to my feet anyway, my hand on my sword – you never knew who could be out here.

But it was Ceniro, his face solemn, and I froze up on seeing him.

He dismounted while still a ways away and came closer on foot.

I turned away, sat down again, and looked at the ground. I didn’t want him to see my red-eyed tear-stained face.

He was a few metres away now, watching me quietly. I could feel it.

“So… you still think I’m too good for you?” I tried to joke, but a big sniffle spoiled it.

He looked sad as he sat. “Why do you say that?”

“I was just the most horrible person I’ve ever been!” I burst out. “I’m sorry – I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry for yelling at you, I’m sorry for hitting you, I’m sorry for calling you lazy, I’m sorry for-”

He opened his mouth to say something and I shut up. “I’m not blameless either. I checked, and you were right. It was my turn. And I shouldn’t have said that about the spirits, and I shouldn’t have tried to stop you, and I know I’m lazy all the time…”

“I’m still the one who messed up!” I said. Father had always said that if you made a mistake, you had to take responsibility for it. “I’ll never do any of it again, I promise. I… I just don’t know what’s wrong with me! Why have I been so terrible to you the last couple weeks?”

He was silent for a few minutes. “What are you afraid of?” he asked finally, so quietly I almost missed it.

I snapped my head around to stare at him, wide-eyed and confused. “Afraid?”

He was looking at the stream, plucking aimlessly at a strand of grass in his hands. “Fear is usually why people get angry. For me… I’m afraid you’re getting bored of me. I don’t have enough to say. I’m not interesting enough. You’ll realize I’m just as useless as you said and ditch me.”

My mouth was hanging open. “I- that’s-”

“I’m not completely wrong, right?” His grey eyes were fixed on me pleadingly.

“No, you’re wrong!” I said right away. “I’m the one in the wrong about all of those things. I’ve been trying to make you talk. I’ve been trying to drag you into everything, because I’m impatient and selfish.” I shook my head. “What I’m afraid of…”

I hadn’t thought of it that way before, but now that I did… It took me a couple minutes, but it was much easier to find words to describe my feelings than it had been before. “I’m afraid you’ll get bored of life here. There’s not much here compared to what you normally see when you travel, and we’re not traveling as fast as you normally do, and we don’t have the kinds of work or responsibilities we’d have as part of a tribe. And you’re right, I keep trying to shove my culture down your throat.” I glanced at him. “I was terrified you would be using this time to leave forever.”

I wondered what I’d do if I was afraid he would leave me for another woman. Probably become an even bigger monster, and the thought frightened me even worse than the thought of him leaving. But that was one thing that he’d never do to me, even I, wallowing in insecurity as I was, knew that.

He shook his head with a wince. “I wouldn’t do that. I’m a coward, but not that much of a coward.” That was true, he did come out here in person to talk to me. “I think… we’re both trying too hard, aren’t we? Now that we’ve recovered from our journey, we’re trying to live life as if every day has to be the most special day of our lives.”

“But we’re together at last,” I said. “Doesn’t it?”

He smiled a tiny smile, still looking into my eyes. “Does it really? When I’m traveling by myself, do you really think every day is full of excitement and grand vistas and running away from bandits?”

I hadn’t thought about it that much. “I don’t know.”

“Well, it isn’t. And that’s okay. And when you were living on your own, just before I met you, you weren’t worried about impressing anyone. And maybe you were recovering from something awful, but you weren’t bored either, right?”

“Well…” I was, but… “It was…” It was overshadowed by the loneliness.

He looked down at his hands again. “We shouldn’t be worried about keeping each other entertained constantly. I think there’s still something between us, something good. Don’t you?”

“Yes,” I said slowly. “Having the stupidest of fights doesn’t change that. We need to reset things, though.”

He nodded, looking up at me again. “You’re still Lyn, daughter of Sacae, proud and beautiful and strong, and I’m still Ceniro, the quiet person with one very specific skill who supports you.”

“You’re Ceniro, the quiet, clever, intelligent person who loves the Earth and Sky,” I told him. “We are both good people, but we’re not used to being alone _together_. Even though I like it.”

“I like it too,” he said, with another little smile. “I have nothing to distract me from what’s important in life.”

“Mm.”

“By which I mean the world around me, and you.”

“I’d think you’d have enough of me for a little while.”

His face was hopeful. “You don’t know how much I love watching you, when you’re practicing your forms, or showing me things, or just moving around the ger doing stuff. And I was thinking, you’re right, maybe I should learn how to fight, even a little. I know how to defend myself with a staff, but knowing how to fight with a sword…”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “I didn’t mean it, I don’t actually mind that you can’t fight, I was just saying angry things…”

“I think it would be good,” he said. “You’ve shown me your training as part of your cultural overview, now teach me so that I almost die less often.”

I finally smiled back at him. “That’s a very persuasive argument. I’ll do that.”

“So… we try again? Without trying so very hard to impress each other?”

I nodded. “When I was learning to fight, I made many mistakes. Including ones from trying too hard. But my father just told me to pick up my sword and try again, no matter how many times it took, and I could feel in my bones it was worth the time, sweat, and tears to become an expert swordsman.”

“I have to agree,” Ceniro said. “Do you feel like that about us?”

“Yes. I feel it… deeper than my bones, really. We can have a long life together, and we can’t ruin it in the first month. We have to keep trying, keep learning, even keep making mistakes.” I looked at him anxiously. “But if I teach you my swordplay, will you teach me your patience? I think it will help a lot.”

“My patience?” He looked surprised.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” I said ruefully. “I’ve just been charging ahead, pretending I do, imagining I do. That plan was a disaster. But you’ve always been the most patient person I’ve ever known, and I… I need you to be patient, because I’m so impatient… Teach me to be like you!”

“I have no idea what I’m doing either,” he said. “I’ve always thought you’re just fine as you are. You’re beautiful when you’re angry, did you know that?”

I made an upset face. “That’s not going to fly in the long run. Don’t enable me.” I’d already blown up at him twice and each time caused so much trouble.

He thought that over. “I guess I could try. But you don’t think I’m an expert in dealing with energetic princess girlfriends, do you?”

“That would imply you have more than one,” I retorted. “Which you better not.”

He laughed at last, and I felt so much better. “I do not. And I’m hoping you don’t have any other boyfriends, shy or otherwise.”

I snorted. “Absolutely not.”

My stomach chose that moment to rumble and I blushed.

Ceniro smiled at me. “Come on. After I found out it was actually my turn, I did dishes and I made dinner. Or at least something edible.”

“How are you so perfect?” I mock-grumbled, accepting his hand up to return to my horse and then home. He chuckled awkwardly.

The next day, I took him outside to begin sword training. I touched the Mani Katti in my sash, still sheathed. “Since the blade will only come from the sheath at my touch, that will make it a reasonable training weapon until I can get something proper. You won’t hurt anyone with this.”

“O-okay,” he said. He seemed nervous at the prospect of actually beginning this, but I could see the determination in his face as well. That was good. He wanted to stick with this; he wasn’t just doing it to please me.

“It’s going to be too heavy. But your first proper sword will then seem much lighter and make things a little easier. First, though, we have a lot of things to cover: namely, footing. Footwork is one of the most important things in katana fighting, and I think in Lycian longsword fighting as well. But I can’t teach you that style. Here is your base position.” I showed him.

I taught him a few things that day, beginning with footwork exercises. I also showed him how to hold a katana and the most basic swing. “You have to do a hundred of those every day at least.”

“A hundred!? But it’s just the same thing, it’s a basic thing…”

“You have to make it second nature,” I told him, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world – wasn’t it? “If this isn’t perfect, a natural motion of the extension of the arm, then anything else you build on it won’t work. I’m not doing things by halves, not with you.”

He nodded and started counting.

“Tomorrow it’ll be a hundred and ten,” I told him.

Our relationship was still a bit wobbly, still a bit cooler than before. But with this new project, I could feel it healing. And I didn’t try to fill up the silences anymore. At first I felt uncomfortable with it, since there had been a long time where the world was silent on the plains, but unlike then, I wasn’t alone, and that knowledge gradually eased away the past associations. And we began to smile at each other more often, and he kissed me more eagerly now, like he had before we came to Sacae.

The next time we went to a town for supplies, I picked up an inexpensive Iron-class katana. He was surprisingly excited to receive it, and I think he himself was surprised at his excitement.

After another couple weeks of drills, I started sparring with him. At first it took all my concentration not to go all-out, or even just to let my slowly-adjusting feelings out. On the other hand, he really had no idea what he was doing, how to turn the drills into actually fighting, and at first I stopped it frequently to try to explain what I was doing – the way he would explain his orders to us on the field. Except he explained things much better than I did. But it was an important part of his progress, this sparring, and he was working hard and learning fast. I held high standards for him, but I tried very hard to keep my impatience in check. I would be the worst teacher if I expected him to do everything perfectly immediately.

Only a few weeks later, after I failed at demonstrating the Sacaean tea ceremony – I still had things to show Ceniro, never fear – the farseer went off, and I heard the voice of Lord Pent.


	10. Don't Break Me

### Don’t Break Me

I glided silently through the trees, Louise close behind me, stepping where I stepped with a grace that made me wonder if she’d ever had training in this sort of stealthy movement. I had no idea if that Milton could see us on Ceniro’s farseer, but I was doing my best to stay in the thickest cover, to make no sound, to show no sign of my trail. Baby Klein was quiet for now, and I prayed to Mother Earth that he would stay that way until we made it to the castle. If not, we’d just have to run. It wasn’t a good plan. But it was the best we could do right now. Ceniro didn’t want me on my own; Klein was safest with Louise.

He’d given me the most western of the routes up to the castle of Armica, where his enemy waited. It was the most dangerous, the most daring route, closest to the enemy armies – and the shortest route to the castle. Which was good, because otherwise I was going to take the longest to get there.

We’d already been spotted once by a group of ten footsoldiers and had to break cover to eliminate them all. If they could see us, the farseer could see us – we had no choice. Louise shot two of them before I managed to charge them, and two more as I darted among and around the rest. She was such a strong ally; I was glad to have her at my back.

When they were dead, I led my companion back into the forest quickly, attempting to weave a complicated trail before Milton could send reinforcements to our position. Wyverns could be upon us relatively quickly, and although Louise could probably shoot them down before they could harm us, they could delay us enough that some portion of the rest of his giant army could sweep us away.

When we had put some distance between us and the scene of the skirmish, I paused and waited for several minutes, waiting with bated breath under a thick knot of trees. Normally I would have been jittering with nerves and uncertainty, but I was also a hunter when I wasn’t a warrior, and I did know how to control my impatience _sometimes_. Louise bore it almost as well as I did, occupying herself with stroking Klein’s blond head, keeping him soothed and quiet.

That had been almost half an hour ago. We’d crossed the river a short while back, and we were getting close to our objective, I knew.

Hoofbeats! I froze, pressing up against a gnarled oak and gesturing for Louise to do the same. The enemy horsemen crashed swiftly through the undergrowth not far from us, looking around for us, but we were motionless in shadow and their pace never checked for an instant.

I waited five breaths after they vanished, letting the hoofbeats fade again, before I began to move forward again. Being stealthy definitely wasn’t fast. I really hoped Ceniro didn’t need me _soon_. I was his ace in the hole this battle, to borrow a phrase from Sain’s lexicon, but I was limited in scope.

He knew that. He knew how to use my abilities. I’d trust his trust in me.

There was the castle! On a cliff above us, off a little to the northeast. And from the flashes of thunder and the sparks of dark magic, Rigel and either Pent or Erk was already there. Which meant I could join them without worrying about hiding or charging blindly into the enemy.

The road up to the castle had no cover whatsoever… but it was also clear of enemies. “We’re going to make a run for it,” I said to Louise, who nodded in determination. I braced myself and after a breath, burst out of the undergrowth and took off running.

Ah! There were our cavalry on the road ahead of us: Kent, Fiora, Florina, Andy, Frank, and four Bernese knights, and Erk, I now saw, also charging towards the gate, which stood invitingly open. On the parapet over the gate was Lady Renee, facing in towards the castle, shouting orders to our allies. Where was Ceniro? He wasn’t hurt, was he? She seemed confident enough I assumed that was not the case. “Sir Kent! Lady Lyn! Get your butts in here, things are going down in the hall with Milton!”

Kent looked back and saw us, and slackened his horse’s speed just enough that we could catch up to him. Klein was beginning to whimper, never pleased at being jostled. Louise tried breathlessly to soothe him.

We were in through the gate and Renee called an order and the portcullis dropped behind us. I didn’t stop but sprinted onwards through the courtyard and up the steps to the hall.

Just before I reached the door, a horrible scream burst from it, a scream that wrenched my heart from my chest and almost made me trip.

Ceniro. On the floor. Covered in blood, lying in a slowly growing pool of it. His arm, gone, lying beside him in two pieces. A tall man in heavy armour standing over him, a massive sword in his hand that crackled with power. The farseer a shattered mess on the ground. The sword rising into the air, about to strike downwards to end that life forever…

I screamed. And charged.

My vision tunneled; my ears were deaf. I could hear nothing except the echo of his scream and my scream, and I could see nothing except for that cold, arrogant face before me. My swords met Eckesachs, and it cut through my ordinary sword like wax. The Mani Katti held, blazing like a brand, and I took it in both hands, to attack, and attack, and attack again. I was driving him back. I wanted nothing more than to drive him into the wall behind him, impale him, dismember him, behead him. I would kill him for hurting Ceniro.

My oath was broken. I had failed in the duty I’d set myself. I’d sworn on the dragon’s blood he would never again come so close to death. If only I had been faster! I could have defended him from that blow. I would even have given up my own arm to fulfil my vow.

I’d never tell him.

Sword rang on sword, again and again and again. I could barely get in any hits on this man, and the few times I slipped past his defenses my blows were only glancing, or mere scratches. I needed to fight better, fight faster – he was good, and he wasn’t going to die in a hurry, certainly not while wielding Eckesachs. White waves of energy were pulsing from it now, blasting past me with a wind that whipped my hair. Couldn’t get caught by those. Couldn’t block them. Had to dodge them. Had to call on my birth affinity, wind, had to become the wind itself. _You can’t kill the air_.

He was strong, very strong, probably stronger than Hector. But I was faster. Which meant I had the advantage, as long as I could keep it up. My teeth were bared in perpetual snarl, but that cold face in front of me never changed.

_**Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!** _

_Working on it_ , the cold-blooded side of me responded. _Don’t slip up now. One mistake and you’ll be cut in half before you even notice_. I constantly changed my angle of attack, swinging at him from every side, trying to crack that steely defence.

Stone cracked deafeningly in our ears, as if the very ground couldn’t bear our combat, and we both flinched – just a little, not enough for either of us to capitalize on. No, it wasn’t the ground, it was the walls! And ceiling!

Those blasts had been tearing apart the walls of the hall around us. The others- I couldn’t worry about the others, I realized, deflecting another lethal swing of Eckesachs and jumping over the blast it caused. Now there was only survival.

Stones, masonry, ceiling timbers, all crashing down around us, almost in slow motion. Beautiful, I could use that for more attacks. Milton would become buried under the debris, would be struck by a stone or crushed by a beam. I wasn’t afraid for my own survival. I should have been. I could die as easily as he – more easily, I had no armour. I only had no time to think about it, relying on pure instinct and purer reflex.

He was attacking the falling debris now, making things easier for both of us, although of course he tried not to help me. Dust was rising in great obscuring clouds, and while my body wanted to breathe so badly, coughing and choking would kill me. I timed my breaths as carefully as any of Ceniro’s charges, my lungs already burning with the effort, always trying to get around Milton, to stab him somewhere he wasn’t paying attention. He wasn’t letting that happen either.

Noise. Dust. Heavy things crashing around me. I lost track of everything except not getting crushed. There was no stable footing anywhere. I could swear my blood was entirely replaced by adrenaline, wind, and prayers.

Was I going to die here?

_No! I can’t!_

The cascade of ruin was easing, and I only took a moment to reorient myself, to get a couple deep breaths in, before I sprang back to the attack. I wasn’t that surprised Milton had survived, except maybe a little disappointed… but also, deep down, darkly pleased.

 _I can kill him myself_.

His armour was in ruins; he’d taken a couple hits in the collapse that he himself had unleashed, but he was still going strong.

His wyvern ally was coming in behind him, calling out to him. He shouted back, never taking his eyes from me as I continued raining blows upon him, and she left.

He had given up. I could feel it. He had sent her away to save her. He no longer had his armies to call upon. It was only him and me, and our enchanted swords, and he would never be able to rule Bern, even if he defeated me, and he had nothing greater to fight for than his own survival – which meant he had given up.

Now was my chance to punish him.

I leaped up on a piece of rubble; it held under my feet, and with a cry of rage and triumph, I jumped at him, the Mani Katti striking Eckesachs close to his hands and tearing it from his grip.

It clattered heavily to the stones, and Milton took a step back, defenseless, his eyes grim and resigned. He knew what was coming and made no move to stop me, to grovel for his life. Very well. I respected that. I would kill him quickly. I aimed the blazing Mani Katti for his heart.

_Now! Now! Strike!_

“Wait!” and grey eyes were between me and him, one arm outstretched. “Wait. Lyn. I want to talk to him.”

_No, kill him! Kill him now!_

Wait. What?

Ceniro. Ceniro! _Ceniro!?_

He was alive! Thank all the Spirits!

And he wanted me to do _what!?_

For a moment I stared, his words so mundane after the cataclysm I’d just been through, his voice both desperate and calm, afraid and earnest. Their meaning took a while to pierce the fog of adrenaline and battle-rage that had been focusing my concentration to a needle’s point. I almost staggered with the shock of it.

“You- you!” I shouted at him, my roiling emotions unable to express themselves any other way than violently hurling the Mani Katti to the ground. I stared at him, panting, sweating, covered in dust and blood, honestly not sure whether I might attack them both or not.

_You almost died, and now you take my revenge from me? He hurt you! What is wrong with you?_

He stared me down, his eyes serious – even if there was no small amount of fear in them.

 _Dammit_. I roared wordlessly, picked up the Mani Katti, sheathed it, and stomped away as hard as I could. The Bern soldiers streaming past me could take care of it.

Childish. But I needed some release for the rage in my veins.

The courtyard was full of Bern wyvern riders, the reinforcements Ceniro and Murdock had sent for. King Desmond and his family were in their midst, all safe and well. I avoided them, and even my own friends, who all seemed to be present and intact, storming over to the south wall. I contemplated punching it, but that would probably just hurt with no satisfaction.

Erk came within speaking distance, brandishing his staff.

“I’m fine!” I snapped at him before he got too close, and he stopped abruptly, frowning a little, and then turned around and left without saying anything. Thank goodness.

Was I fine? I could easily have been injured and not felt it in all the excitement. All my limbs seemed attached, there wasn’t any extra blood on my clothes, my hair hadn’t been chopped off… Yes, I was fine. A bit of grit in my mouth, but I didn’t need healing. I was going to hurt tomorrow, though. I was in better condition than when fighting Nergal, but that didn’t mean I could do it every day without penalty.

Ceniro. Why had he stopped me? Going so far as to risk the life he’d already almost lost – I could have easily stabbed through them both by accident. Just to _talk?_ He hated the man! And Milton hated him. I didn’t want to glorify him with the title of nemesis, but rival seemed too weak. Archenemy, too dramatic. Enemy, not personal enough. …Nemesis it was.

That was true. It was personal. Lundgren had been my own nemesis, a very personal one, but I’d never met him before I killed him. Ceniro had known this man for years. The last time they’d met, in Northern Ostia, it had been mind-games all the way with both of them. All right, I could accept that Ceniro would want to ask him a thing or two before someone killed him. I’d had nothing to ask Lundgren. But I was very straightforward compared to Ceniro.

Another thing. How had he been so close to Milton, when I burst in? I’d had the vague sense that Pent was nearby, injured, and a couple others, but Ceniro had been way out in front, in the middle of the room. Even with all my training, he wasn’t as capable a front-line fighter as the others, certainly not against Milton. What was he doing there? Had Milton called him there to humiliate him? Had Ceniro gone rather than risk the lives of our friends?

I didn’t have the mind to analyze right now. I hadn’t been there. Perhaps I would never understand.

He better not have been doing something stupid.

Was I being stupid now? Was I messing up somehow? He hadn’t _asked_ me to kill Milton. I had just decided that myself. But if I hadn’t attacked with all my might, with every bit of my conviction and emotion, I would be dead now, let alone Ceniro. That much was clear.

Breathing was easier now. I was calming down. If Erk approached me now, I wouldn’t send him packing.

And I was beginning to shake with the aftermath. I’d almost lost him again. He would definitely have more scars to add to his small but terrifying collection. Did he know what that did to me? Did he know what he was doing to me?

The farseer was broken now. He’d have no choice but to keep me nearby from now on. Although my oath was broken, it was not void. I could keep fulfilling it. I had a second chance. As long as I could keep it together.

As my shaking grew less, I heard his footsteps approaching me, finally. “I’m glad you came,” he said softly. “You and Louise. I was a bit worried that you wouldn’t make it.”

A _bit worried?_ After I had tried to rest my own worries with my trust in him? I rounded on him, finally able to put my feelings into words. “You idiot! Even if your entire plan always hinges on me and Pent and Florina, that doesn’t mean you can just go and die because you think you’re expendable or something!”

He dropped his gaze to the ground. I took the moment to look him over. He was bloodied and bruised, but someone had recovered his arm and managed to reattach it, and it was sitting in a sling across his chest. Maybe it would heal, then? “I had to destroy the farseer. Cut him off from his allies, get them off your backs.”

I guess that made sense. That explained what I had been wondering about. But still: “And then after I did all that fighting for you, I got my sword cut in half, kept fighting, avoided getting sliced in half by Legendary power or crushed by an entire freakin’ falling castle, defeat your stupid arch-nemesis, and then you just jump in and stop the fight because you want to talk to the bastard!” I guess Milton was now his arch-nemesis. Close enough. But he better appreciate it.

He winced. “I know. You were all keyed up and then I interrupted it. But… it…”

I dropped my chin to my chest, let out a tired sigh, then met his gaze again. His eyes were serious, anxiously waiting my opinion, but not afraid of me anymore. Thank goodness. “It’s important to you. You have history with him. It’s not like… me and Lundgren. Or… or Nino and Sonia.” Milton was at least human. “I get it. It’s just frustrating.”

“I… yeah.” He nodded, still meeting my eyes. “But thank you. I really… thank you.”

“So go talk to him!” I told him, covering up whatever else I was feeling with some ordinary, half-teasing scolding. “The things I do for you, and then you don’t even follow through!”

He snorted a laugh, and my heart eased. Success! “Right. I’ll do that, after I make sure everyone else is okay. Thanks.” He nodded to me and walked off in Zephiel’s direction, a short but straight and confident figure among the taller soldiers.

I would be okay. He would be okay. It would all be okay.

So I could forgive him for scaring me like that.


	11. Marry Me

### Marry Me

Safety! Bless Eliwood for existing. Everyone in the group was exhausted, even Milton, whom Ceniro decided to rescue for whatever reason. That man of mine was crazy sometimes… And he’d suffered the most on the way back, dealing with his nerveless arm and recovering from everything he’d spent in the battle. But we had made it safely out of Bern, away from King Desmond’s wrath and to Pherae, and now we could relax and sleep for a couple days, safe at Eliwood’s castle. We were so fortunate to have generous friends.

The castle staff wanted to give me a room of my own, a lady’s apartment, but I refused. Some might call it scandalous, but I’d been sleeping at Ceniro’s side for a year and a half, and we liked it that way, to know that the other was near. I was going to keep it that way, no matter what anyone said. Eliwood would understand.

Ceniro was sprawled on his bed, eyes closed, but as I shut the door behind me, he opened his eyes and held out his good arm to me. I tackled him with a bounce, careful of the other arm still in the sling, and kicked off my boots, and he wrapped me in his embrace. We lay still together, my head on his shoulder with my arms around his waist. After a moment, he shifted his injured arm – it was getting better, gradually – and stroked my hair with his good hand, very slowly.

Idly, I wondered: was this what it was like for Florina and Wil? Or Pent and Louise? Was there really a huge difference between being married, and being as close as we were? Oh, I fully intended to marry him someday, but we were already most of the way there, weren’t we? We held each other’s lives in our hands. We understood each other as equals, and maybe we didn’t always agree exactly, but by now we knew how to solve our problems like adults. Mostly. When I’d already vowed to myself to share my life with him, and he’d clearly done the same, what could be stronger?

I’d probably feel differently once I’d crossed the same bridge that so many of my friends and companions had. To make a ceremony of it, to repeat these oaths in public, there must be some change. And the only way to find out for sure would be to do it.

“We should get married,” he said, voice thick and slow with impending sleep, as if he had read my mind. “Then you can be in here without worrying what people think.”

“I already don’t worry about what people think,” I answered, casually, pretending his suggestion hadn’t made my heart jump. We’d talked about it before, but it was always more exciting to think about than it should have been, considering the length of time we’d been together. “But sure, let’s get married. Tomorrow?”

He apparently thought I was joking, as he chuckled. “I don’t think my mother will forgive me if she isn’t present.” Ah yes, his mother, who wasn’t sure if she was in awe of me for being the granddaughter of Marquess Caelin, or if she didn’t want her son consorting with some dirty savage Sacaean. I wasn’t too fond of her, and I knew Ceniro wasn’t either, although things might have been changing. Since I didn’t know her, I’d trust him with it – not something I’d do for just anyone. I liked the rest of his family, though, and I think they liked me, as well.

Ceniro was still talking. “And what about your grandfather? He missed his daughter’s wedding, I don’t think he’ll want to miss his granddaughter’s. He doesn’t disapprove of me, right?”

“Florina and Fiora and Kent and Wil didn’t worry about that last year,” I pointed out. They’d had Farina present, and that was all for family, and whatever friends were around at the time. But Ceniro had a point. And we did have friends nearby to draw on, at this point in time. “Well… maybe my grandfather should come. I’m sure he approves of you. I love you, after all, so he should too. And Eliwood’s right here, we can invite him and Ninian and a few other people.”

“Like who?” he said, shifting his head towards me. The hand stroking my hair stilled. “Hector and Pent and Louise?” Mayyyybe? “I think we’re getting too many people involved. We just wanted something quiet, remember? After what Hector and Louise did with the wedding last year… We’ll just convince my mother to leave Santaruz temporarily,” – ha, easier said than done, I knew that – “bring your grandfather, and go to Sacae where no one will bother us.”

“You’re right,” I said, smiling. As usual, he was right. We _had_ agreed on not too many people after the wedding last year. “I’ve always wanted to show my grandfather the plains.”

“I know you have,” he said. “Show him the land you love so much.”

My eyes drifted up towards his chin, which was as close to eye contact as I was getting without moving, which I didn’t feel like doing. “What about you?”

“I love it, but I love all of Elibe, you know that.”

“Mm.” So how would we go about this, then? It didn’t sound too complicated… “Well, we can pass through Dunborough on our way back to Sacae. You can convince her then. I hope it doesn’t take too much doing.”

“Anlie will help. She’s good at it. So I guess we’ll set a date for a few months from now. Just whenever we get back.”

“Sounds good,” I said, and couldn’t hold back a yawn. Definitely time to sleep. I didn’t feel like moving, even though I was still wearing my regular clothes, and we were lying on top of the blankets… Eh, it didn’t matter. I’d worked hard these last two weeks. Sleep was more important right now.

I closed my eyes, adjusted my head on his shoulder, and quickly fell asleep, lulled by his breathing and his heartbeat.

We made it to Dunborough without incident, although we bickered over whether we should approach his family as a group, or if it should just be Ceniro, or Ceniro and me… Ceniro himself was in favour of a smaller group, and he didn’t say it outright, but I think he was afraid that Milton would frighten his family.

Which was a valid point; the former knight was a silent, glowering presence wherever we went, since he was our… not a prisoner… how should I put it? We were babysitting him, until such time as Ceniro felt he wouldn’t try to take over the world again. He hadn’t told Milton yet, but he’d told me: I’d been a bit snippish at the thought that we’d have to keep dragging him along with us now that we were out of Bern, just because Ceniro didn’t want him killed, but he didn’t trust anyone else to take care of him. So we were stuck with him for the time being.

Ceniro didn’t trust anyone else with Milton? Hah. I didn’t trust Milton. Actually, neither did Ceniro. But he didn’t want him dead. I was ambivalent on the matter. If he snapped, and Ceniro had to order me to kill the bastard, I could do it.

Anyway, he was pretty terrifying to normal people, even if we had two of our company watching him at all times. But Ceniro’s family was going to have to get used to him on our journey to Sacae, and dragging it out wouldn’t make it easier.

“But we can at least warn them before they meet him,” Ceniro said, and I sighed and gave up. It wasn’t a terrible idea, and Ceniro knew his family better than I did. I’d follow his lead.

So here we were, in front of their house, sans Kent, Fiora, and Milton. Ceniro had steeled himself for this, and there was only the barest hesitation before he knocked.

Anlie answered the door again, and she lit up upon seeing the two of us, and then her eyes widened in awe at the rest of the group, although it was only Florina, Wil, Renee, and Rigel. Florina had left her pegasus with her sister. “So many of you! Come in, I think we have enough chairs! Mom, Ceniro’s come home, and brought friends again!”

His mother came bustling forward, as expected. “Well… look at that. I declare… Anlie, get drinks, girl!” She was trying, she really was, although her face betrayed her struggle. Her previous encounter with us _had_ left a… good impression? I was almost shocked.

Ceniro didn’t sit, although the rest of us did. “Um… Mom…”

“Sit! Sit! What’s the matter? We have seats enough.”

He rubbed his injured arm awkwardly. He no longer kept it in the sling, and Eliwood had given him a new tunic to replace the tattered deel, but it still looked off… if you knew how to look. “I know you hate going outside of the village…”

His mother froze and stared at him. “But…? Oh, Saint Elimine, you’re not proposing we all go traipsing off into the wilderness like- like you adventurous people, are you? What on earth has gotten into you? It’s shocking!”

Ceniro frowned, looking more awkward than ever. I glanced meaningfully at Wil. _Save the day with your patented foot in mouth technique_.

 _Really?_ Wil mouthed to me. I nodded.

“They’re getting married – finally – and you’re invited!” Wil burst out, full volume, and Florina giggled, startled.

“Oh!” Anlie squealed, piercing and gleeful, and his mother dropped the empty jug that had been previously full of beer on the floor with a smash.

“What!?” And then both his sister and mother began to talk at once.

Ceniro was looking more flustered than ever and not sure how to deal with it. They were his family, weren’t they? Ah well, I could help him out. I stood and gently pushed him to sit. “Yes, we’re getting married. We’re returning to Sacae, the land of my birth, as we both think it would be the perfect place for it. I know it’s a very long way away, but it is a very special occasion and we’d be honoured if you would join us.” Well, perhaps elocution lessons during my time in Caelin hadn’t been completely wasted.

His mother gaped like a fish; Anlie was doing a little jig to herself.

“Of course, you’ll probably wish to consult with Master Caro and Drew before making a definite decision,” I said.

“I’m so happy for you!” Anlie exclaimed, looking like she was trying not to violently hug everyone in the room. “I do wish to go. Hopefully everyone else will, too!”

“I… ah… that’s…” Ceniro’s mother stammered breathlessly. Anlie took charge of the room, leading her stunned mother to a seat and serving everyone deftly.

“Why is everyone so loud?” Ceniro muttered to me after a minute as I sat back down beside him.

“Aren’t they usually?” I asked.

“Only my mother. And now _she’s_ stunned into silence and _Anlie’s_ chirping away, as noisy as Serra or Salir, when normally she’s quiet like me. And the others… usually Rigel’s pretty quiet, and Florina, but today everyone’s noisy.”

“That’s what exciting news does to people,” I told him cheerfully.

He still looked miffed. “I wish it didn’t.”

His father came home after an hour or so, and was surprised in his turn. He didn’t say anything definite in response to being asked to come all the way to Sacae, but he did look happy.

“We should let them have some time to talk it over together before expecting a decision,” Ceniro told me quietly, rubbing his arm again.

“Of course,” I said. “Is your arm bothering you?”

“A bit, but at least it’s not cramping…”

“What’s wrong with your arm?” Patsi called over the conversation, and Ceniro froze in place.

“It’s fine,” he said with a not-quite-sincere smile, after a moment to breathe. “I got a little banged up on our last mission, and it’s still recovering.”

“You were hurt!? Who hurt you? What were you doing? I thought you were supposed to be safe at all times!” His mother shot off one question after another.

“Those aren’t bad points,” I teased him, poking him in the shoulder, and he brushed me off with an expression somewhere between a grimace and a smirk, although it was aimed at the floor.

“Yes, it was _insane_ ,” Wil said, and I shot a look at him. This was _not_ the time for the foot in mouth technique. “You should have seen-” He caught my look and shut up. _He_ wasn’t one to talk, he’d had a limp for five days after we left Armica.

“I think it better that we didn’t,” Caro said calmly. “It’s frightening enough to know that he was in enough danger to be injured.” At least Wil hadn’t brought up the scars spiraling around Ceniro’s arm, showing very clearly how it had been detached at one point. If they came along, would he have to hide his arm from them always? Well, it wouldn’t be impossible.

Ceniro nodded. “Thanks, Dad.”

“But-” Patsi began shrilly.

“No,” Caro said, and Patsi acquiesced.

We left them not long after, and Anlie promised to come tell us what was decided by lunchtime tomorrow.

“You didn’t warn them about Milton,” I said to him as we made our way back to the little inn.

“No, if they decide not to come, then they don’t need to know,” he said. “I’ll let them know before we all set off together, don’t worry.”

Well, they decided to come, though not without very vocal concerns from Patsi, who, even though Ceniro assured her she’d be as safe as if she stayed at home, was worried we’d all be murdered on the road. Possibly by Milton. But she came anyway, and Caro and Anlie, and we obtained special permission for Ceniro’s brother Drew to leave his post at Castle Santaruz and come with us as well. We set our course for Caelin and prayed we didn’t all go mad.

After dinner at Castle Caelin, I met with my grandfather alone. He was standing in his study, looking at the portrait of my mother which he had gotten out of storage and put up after I met him for the first time. It was so strange to see my mother looking the same age as me, but her eyes were the same as I had known, and her soft smile. It brought back a rush of feelings and memories, as it always did, and I focused on my grandfather with an effort.

Even though he was retired and Reissmann was running the place, he still lived here and probably would until he died. As I came in, he turned to me and smiled. “So, there’s a feeling of excitement in the air, Lord Pent and Lady Louise are no longer in your mercenaries, and that lad has his family along. Something is about to happen, isn’t it?”

Grandfather wasn’t blind, that was for sure. “It certainly is.” Best not to drag it out. “I am going to marry Ceniro.”

“And how many of your friends have told you it’s about time?” Grandfather said, teasing.

I grinned back. “All of them. But I’d like you to come too. We’re going to Sacae to be married there, and I thought perhaps I could show you the plains as I have been promising.”

“And I’ve promised to come see them.” Grandfather stroked his chin thoughtfully, exhaled firmly. “Yes, very well, I have nothing better to do these days.” He glanced at the portrait again, and back to me. “It pleases me that I will see you married. Your eyes are so like to Madelyn’s… and I never saw hers illuminated in love. She taught me much with her elopement, and now I can be a better man for you, my dear granddaughter. Now I can just be happy that you are happy with the man you have chosen.”

I stepped forward and hugged him. “And I’m grateful to you as well, Grandfather, for supporting me in everything that I do, even when it takes me far away from you for a long time.”

“Ah well.” He disengaged from my hug and sat in his favourite leather chair. “Now, weren’t you going to tell me what else has been happening since I saw you last?”

“Most definitely!” I said, and began.

The ger was a little warm, or maybe my nerves made it so. Even with the fringe of the walls tucked up to let a breeze through the bottom, it seemed too warm. I was trying to breathe evenly, but I couldn’t stop the rhythmic prickles of sweat from rushing across my body from head to foot.

Everything would be fine, I don’t know what I was worried about. Perhaps it was the formal deel I’d bought in Bulgar? Would I look nice in it? Would the headdress get in my way and be annoying? But I wanted to dress up for this occasion, even if it was just our companions and families. Actually, Fiora was missing, gone off on her own for some reason. I hoped she’d be back by dinner, because we weren’t waiting forever for her. Meanwhile, Ceniro and Kent were off in one of the other tents, getting ready in their own fashion. But I needed more space, so I was in the ger, behind a curtain, while my grandfather waited on the other side of it.

“I’m so excited,” Florina said softly, helping me tie the ties and loops and sashes of my robe over my light kimono. “You’ve waited so long for this, haven’t you?”

“Maybe a bit long,” I said. “But we’ve been busy!”

“That’s not an excuse!” she scolded me, making me kneel beside her so she could brush my long, long hair. “I married Wil a year ago! There’ve been opportunities!”

“Hmm.” Maybe she was right about that, but still… “I guess we’re both slow-moving awkward people when it comes to life-long commitments – and we’ve been so sure, that actually getting married wasn’t a big deal. Anyway, we’re getting married now, what’s your problem?”

Florina giggled. “Sorry, Lyn. But it is really exciting.”

“Definitely,” I said. “You know, when I was growing up, I always thought I’d marry a Sacaean man, a strong, stoic man with green hair and dark eyes. But then Ceniro came into my life, and yes, at first he was kind of pathetic.”

“Like me!”

“Hahaha! Maybe a little. But like you, he’s grown so much since then, and he’s really a wonderful person, so patient and gentle and brilliant. I do love him very much, and I’m secure in the knowledge that he loves me. So yes, I’m happy to be marrying him.”

“Is that all?” Florina asked earnestly, getting the headdress and setting it on my head. The golden beads tinkled softly as I stood, my preparations complete.

“Well, he’s pretty sexy with a katana, even if he’s not as good as me. And of course there’s always the new opportunity to compare scars,” I teased with a saucy wink and a blush, and my friend dissolved in giggles, turning red in her turn.

“I don’t believe I’ve ever heard so much giggling in my life,” Grandfather said, as I emerged from behind the curtain. “Well, now, you look lovely. Rather strange, perhaps, but very beautiful. I’m sure your parents are as happy for you as I am.”

I hugged him and he hugged me back. “Thank you, Grandfather. I know they are happy for me, too.”

“Are you sure you have everything you need?” Grandfather asked, a bit anxiously. “I would have given you a rich dowry, but you’ve refused most of the things normally given in Lycia. If there’s anything else I can do…”

“Grandfather, you provided for me to buy these clothes, new horses, new furniture for the gers… I know it doesn’t seem like much to a noble Lycian, but to a Sacaean mercenary, it’s incredibly generous. This _is_ a rich dowry. And I am – we are very grateful.”

He smiled. “As long as you’re happy, my dear Lyndis. Shall we meet the groom?”

I nodded, my heart beginning to beat faster again, and I followed him out, Florina behind me, just as Ceniro gave a surprised, indignant shout. What? What was going on?

But as I came into the light, everyone turned to look at me, and I was gratified by the reactions – a huge grin from Wil, a soft smile from Kent, a squeal from Renee and a gasp from Rigel, and Anlie clapped quietly.

Ceniro stared, his mouth hanging open, and he looked like he’d forgotten to breathe. I had to pause and stare a bit myself. He looked _very_ handsome in his formal Lycian tunic, in the same burgundy that his deel had been coloured, and a fine green cloak, fastened at the shoulder with a golden brooch. He looked well in Sacaean clothes, but Lycian clothes suited him even better, I had to admit. He almost looked like a young lord in his finery, standing straight with the unconscious, serene confidence he’d grown over the last three years, that boyish mop of brown hair neatly combed, but his grey eyes – beneath the awe-struck look they held right now – were the eyes I knew so well.

His mouth twitched, and words began to come out. “Where – how – when-”

I guessed he was asking about the clothes. “In Bulgar, when we stopped in a couple days ago. My grandfather gave me the money.” I made a show of looking him up and down with approval. “You’re not so bad-looking yourself.”

“Th-thanks.” Aww, the stammer was back today. I hadn’t heard that in a while – not out of bashfulness, at least. It made me smile.

But there was the other matter, and it seemed to be related to the distant figure of Fiora, a steadily growing white speck in the western sky. “Now, what was all the yelling about?” Wait, there were… people marching behind her? So many people! Crowds of people! “What is that?”

“That’s what I said,” Ceniro said, coming to stand next to me and holding my hand. Ah, he was lovely. “I think we have some mutineers in our group. Just look how disgustingly smug they are.” He mock-pouted at Kent, who was laughing outright. If Fiora were here, she would have gotten a dose of that as well.

I sighed and shook my head in mock despair. “There’s nothing for it. We’ll have to have a big party. They have come all this way.”

Ceniro was jolted out of his teasing. “Do we have enough food?”

“Don’t worry about that,” Kent said, his laughter under control again. “Just go welcome your unexpected guests.”

Fiora touched down as the horde of familiar faces began to arrive at our camp. “Sir Ceniro, Lady Lyn, it gives me great pleasure to present to you…” She paused, apparently trying to decide who to name first, and quickly gave that idea up as impossible. “…a great many of your friends.”

“Every friend,” Ceniro muttered to me, and I squeezed his hand as I tried not to laugh. “Every single one of them.” It certainly looked like it.

There was an extremely loud, confused chorus of “CONGRATULATIONS!” from the crowd of people, and I blushed at the vehemence of their enthusiasm. I caught a glimpse of Ceniro’s family, and they looked quite stunned at the number and variety of people who had just arrived.

“You really shouldn’t have,” I began, Ceniro stammering along with me.

“Nonsense,” Eliwood said, stepping forward from the group with Ninian, the first to greet us personally.

It took what seemed a long time to greet everyone, to hug and exclaim and get over our shock, but in the end I was glad of everyone we loved being here. To have Eliwood and Ninian here, and Pent and Louise back, and Hector and his new wife Freya, all here to celebrate our union, it made me so happy I could have run around the camp twelve times and sang like a little girl. And a bit humbled, too, that they would come all this way for us. How many lives Ceniro had touched! And me, too, I suppose.

Eliwood and my grandfather eventually took charge and got everyone settled in a circle a little way away from camp, sitting or standing among the tall golden grasses of the plains, and Ceniro and I were in the centre. The gentle wind blew at my hair, smelling freshly of grass and flowers and freedom. Ceniro’s eyes were shining as he reached out to take the hands I extended towards him eagerly.

“We met by chance,” he said.

“By fate,” I answered. We’d written these vows together – he’d helped me when I got stuck on my half – but we’d never said them aloud to each other before. I hoped I remembered all of my lines. I thought they were very fitting, but the way my heart was beating, the way Ceniro was so distractingly handsome, the way everything just seemed to be passing by me far too quickly, without me really registering it, I was a little nervous about saying it all right. I wondered if he was, too.

“And together, we overcame many obstacles,” he was saying, and that helped.

“And together, we’ll overcome many more.”

“So with Saint Elimine’s blessing, I will be your husband.” He couldn’t hold back his sweet smile.

“And as Mother Earth lives in the embrace of Father Sky, I will be your wife.” I almost couldn’t say the last part from smiling back at him.

He leaned forward, and I leaned forward, and we kissed. There was a muffled noise in the background – our friends cheering – but all I could focus on was the pounding of my heart and the warmth of his mouth.

The celebration lasted all night, from what I could tell, with everyone eating and drinking and catching up and remembering stories from when we all went about together. My grandfather was beside Eliwood and Hector, and he looked very happy, although he spent most of his time listening. That was what had made him a good Marquess, and a good grandfather, at least as long as I’d known him, I reflected. He was always listening. He looked at me often, and I’d smile at him each time.

Ceniro’s family looked a little more awkward at first, but Anlie and Andy were completely absorbed in each other from the start. Then Drew and Lowen bumped into each other and managed to start a conversation, and Caro and Dorcas began talking. That left only Patsi, who still looked uncomfortable in the middle of all these people, whom I understood she’d spent most of her life convincing herself that she wasn’t worth being spoken to by them. She looked positively terrified when Louise, _the_ beautiful and deadly and sweet Lady Louise, Countess of Reglay, wife of the former Mage General of Etruria, began engaging her in conversation, but with little Klein beginning to string words together, soon the two women had more than enough to talk about.

Thank goodness. I looked at Ceniro, and he looked at me, and there was a relief there that I hadn’t quite expected but was glad to see. I leaned over and kissed him, and random people cheered again. I had to roll my eyes. They could stop with that now.

And then the music and dancing started. Kent and Renee had been trying to coach us for a week, but we were still awkward as we stood up for the first dance. It didn’t matter, because soon enough half our friends were also dancing.

Ceniro looked around at them all in the light of the campfires, an arm around my shoulders. “You think we’ve entertained them enough? Not that I’m not glad to see them. But I – I want to show you something.”

“I’m sure you do,” I teased. Oops, maybe I’d had a little too much to drink.

He blushed but shook his head. “Something else.”

“Well, I’m curious. Shall we?”

“We’ll see them again in the morning, anyway,” he said, and led me by the hand back to the ger.

I was confused; we’d actually set up a tent a long way outside of camp, to have some space truly to ourselves this night – and tomorrow morning. I wanted it to be morning to make love to him for the first time, with the sun creeping over the distant hills and shining golden across us, with the wind of the plains caressing us… That was my ideal.

But he was only in the ger a moment, and then we were off to the horses, riding quietly off to our destination. I lit the lamp once we were in the tent, so we could see each other and talk a bit before we slept. Tomorrow, once we returned, we could go back to being the leaders of the Wind Warriors – our new mercenary group name. But tonight we would have nothing to do with work.

He took off his cloak, undid the top few hooks of the collar of his tunic, and laughed. “I did feel kind of funny wearing this, like I was in someone else’s place all day. I know Eliwood and Pent are used to wearing clothes this nice, but I wonder how it feels to be comfortable in it…”

“Maybe you should accept that knighthood that’s been offered to you by multiple people, and find out,” I teased him.

He laughed, but was distracted, reaching for the small bag he’d brought from the ger. “I… um. Well, here.”

“What is it?” I asked, confused. Inside were a notebook, and a small wooden case. I flipped through the notebook and saw… myself.

He covered his eyes with a hand. “Oh, Saint Elimine’s eyes, the early stuff is bad.”

“I don’t understand.” I tilted my head at him. “Try again?”

“Well, when we came to Sacae the first time, I needed to do something to occupy all the time that I normally spent walking. So… I tried drawing.”

Realization dawned on me. “So that’s why you spent so much time with the notebook! I thought you were writing down campaign notes!”

“Some of that, too, but that’s in a different notebook. Anyway… so those are all the drawings I’ve done of you over the last two years. Most of my other drawings are in another other notebook.”

I went through again, more slowly, amazed. “You did all this… I never knew. You’re so good at this now!” There were all kinds of pictures, of me laughing, wielding my swords, looking furious, looking confused, looking distant, brushing my hair, or sleeping – I blushed at those ones. There were some other sketches thrown in, too, of mountains and valleys, rivers and forests, of other people we traveled with, but most of it was of me. Yes, the early pictures looked strange and off and distorted, and some of them were scribbled out in frustration, but the more recent ones were really nice to look at.

He was blushing, fiddling with the hem of his tunic. “So I was wondering… while you’re all dressed up… if I could draw you?”

“Yes please!” I eagerly pushed the book at him. “But you have to draw yourself, too.”

“Me? I don’t usually draw me… I’ve done it maybe three times, ever…”

“I insist,” I said. “How should I…?”

“Just be comfortable,” he said, and began to sketch with charcoal from the wooden case. I felt tingles running up and down my back, not sure whether I should make eye contact when he glanced up at me, holding in nervous giggles. How strange that I should feel so awkward when he’d just become my husband.

He didn’t take long, it seemed, but the lamp was beginning to fade when he sat back. “I think that’s the gist of it. I’ll finish it tomorrow.” He showed me, and I gasped.

“That’s amazing,” I said. “I don’t know what to say, it’s so good!”

He looked bashful. “It’s not that great.”

“It really is.”

“Well, maybe you should stop being so beautiful,” he teased.

I laughed. “Give it thirty years and your wish will come true.”

He snorted. “It’s going to take longer than thirty years to make you un-beautiful. More like forever.”

“You’re such a romantic,” I told him, and he reached out to help take my headdress off.

“You like it,” he retorted in such a soft voice, and I shivered in delight.

“I most certainly do,” I whispered back, and kissed him, his arms around my waist, my hands in his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may add more when I start writing Star of Bern, my FE6 treatment, but until then enjoy this happily ever after!


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